My ex gave my allergic kid unsafe candy

[Anonymous]

My kid is a tween, so old enough that she wouldn’t usually eat unlabeled candy, but could easily assume that candy her own mother hid specifically for her would be safe. Luckily she didn’t, but not sure how to proceed.

[Anonymous]

It'll happen. You train your kid and really can't account for what other people will do. You won't be able to control everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It'll happen. You train your kid and really can't account for what other people will do. You won't be able to control everything.

You train your kid that they can’t trust their own parent?

[Anonymous]

A relative did this for my allergic kid, and while I was annoyed, they had simply misread the label info and thought it was safe. This person would never in a million years harm my kid on purpose. It happens.

Of course if my kid was *deathly* allergic I would probably have a different opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a tween, so old enough that she wouldn’t usually eat unlabeled candy, but could easily assume that candy her own mother hid specifically for her would be safe. Luckily she didn’t, but not sure how to proceed.

Suggest mom be more careful. Do you have reason to think she would intentionally harm your child?

How would you want her to react if roles were reversed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A relative did this for my allergic kid, and while I was annoyed, they had simply misread the label info and thought it was safe. This person would never in a million years harm my kid on purpose. It happens.

Of course if my kid was *deathly* allergic I would probably have a different opinion.

My kid is deathly allergic, and I feel like a parent is the one person a kid should be able to trust.

My kid is really good at checking usually, but like I said would usually assume that things from mom or me are safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a tween, so old enough that she wouldn’t usually eat unlabeled candy, but could easily assume that candy her own mother hid specifically for her would be safe. Luckily she didn’t, but not sure how to proceed.

Suggest mom be more careful. Do you have reason to think she would intentionally harm your child?

How would you want her to react if roles were reversed?

Intentionally? No. But she can definitely be negligent.

I am not sure how this impacts the precautions I expect my kid to take. She is really good about carrying safe snacks, waiting to eat at home if she can’t read labels and be sure it’s safe etc . . . but those strategies assume that food from home is safe.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like they were fine, so not deathly allergic.

[Anonymous]

My severely ADHD husband has always been terribly lax about nuts, which my son is anaphylactically allergic to. We had so many fights about it. Luckily my son grew to systematically check ingredients, but he knows not to trust his father. It’s sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A relative did this for my allergic kid, and while I was annoyed, they had simply misread the label info and thought it was safe. This person would never in a million years harm my kid on purpose. It happens.

Of course if my kid was *deathly* allergic I would probably have a different opinion.

My kid is deathly allergic, and I feel like a parent is the one person a kid should be able to trust.

My kid is really good at checking usually, but like I said would usually assume that things from mom or me are safe.

Then I would read her the riot act and tell my kid to never accept unlabeled food as safe from her again, and to always double check whatever does have a label. I assume she carries an epipen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they were fine, so not deathly allergic.

She didn’t eat it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A relative did this for my allergic kid, and while I was annoyed, they had simply misread the label info and thought it was safe. This person would never in a million years harm my kid on purpose. It happens.

Of course if my kid was *deathly* allergic I would probably have a different opinion.

My kid is deathly allergic, and I feel like a parent is the one person a kid should be able to trust.

My kid is really good at checking usually, but like I said would usually assume that things from mom or me are safe.

Then I would read her the riot act and tell my kid to never accept unlabeled food as safe from her again, and to always double check whatever does have a label. I assume she carries an epipen?

She carries two epipens.

I don’t see how never eating unlabeled foods works when she lives part time with mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It'll happen. You train your kid and really can't account for what other people will do. You won't be able to control everything.

You train your kid that they can’t trust their own parent?

Train your kid To verify before eating, not crucifying the other parent. I am the parent of a child with allergies and have on a rare occasion given my child something that had one of her allergens in it. It was an honest mistake and my child offered me grace. Accidents will Happen so I’d choose to educate and offer grace to ex unless it happens routinely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a tween, so old enough that she wouldn’t usually eat unlabeled candy, but could easily assume that candy her own mother hid specifically for her would be safe. Luckily she didn’t, but not sure how to proceed.

Suggest mom be more careful. Do you have reason to think she would intentionally harm your child?

How would you want her to react if roles were reversed?

Intentionally? No. But she can definitely be negligent.

I am not sure how this impacts the precautions I expect my kid to take. She is really good about carrying safe snacks, waiting to eat at home if she can’t read labels and be sure it’s safe etc . . . but those strategies assume that food from home is safe.

Well, now that messaging can be tweaked a bit. Glad she is ok.

My kid had anaphylaxis once when she was too young to read, was pretty traumatic for both of us. Restaurant error though, not from a parent. Teach kiddo to ALWAYS check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is a tween, so old enough that she wouldn’t usually eat unlabeled candy, but could easily assume that candy her own mother hid specifically for her would be safe. Luckily she didn’t, but not sure how to proceed.

Suggest mom be more careful. Do you have reason to think she would intentionally harm your child?

How would you want her to react if roles were reversed?

Intentionally? No. But she can definitely be negligent.

I am not sure how this impacts the precautions I expect my kid to take. She is really good about carrying safe snacks, waiting to eat at home if she can’t read labels and be sure it’s safe etc . . . but those strategies assume that food from home is safe.

Well, now that messaging can be tweaked a bit. Glad she is ok.

My kid had anaphylaxis once when she was too young to read, was pretty traumatic for both of us. Restaurant error though, not from a parent. Teach kiddo to ALWAYS check.

But what does that look like at home with the parent. I can’t imagine coming home from the grocery store and expecting a child to check the ingredients, or to ask in detail how you prepared dinner.

How would that play out in your house?