When did you stop paying for vacations together-college?

[Anonymous]

I imagine after college or after the kids move out. I love our family vacations, I would hate for them to stop.

If they bring a boy/girlfriend I would tell them to have their partner pay their own way and contribute to ..say buying lunches, breakfast.

When did you cut it off?

[Anonymous]

It all depends on your finances, if you have resources you don't need to stop ever. If you invite their significant other, you pay like you do for your kids if you can afford to.

Once kids and significant other are employed and you are retired, everyone pays for themselves, unless someone can afford to cover it all or part as a gift.

Real question is when your desire to vacation together clashes with their desire to vacation separately, with friends or with significant other's family. Expecting them to have unlimited resources or vacation days to spend it with you every year for as long as you shall live is presumptuous and inconsiderate after they are adults and in relationships.

[Anonymous]

We won’t ever. Plan to cover a family vacation including spouses forever.

[Anonymous]

When they have a job.

Be aware that if they have to pay, they may decline to go. It's hard enough to get by with few vacation days and then you're pressured to spend them at boring expensive places that you don't even like. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

My 2 kids are 30 and 32. While in college, we really didn’t do vacations because 1) tuition and, 2) kids had internships which kept them busy during the summers. As working adults (1 is married), they live close to us, but vacation on their own.

[Anonymous]

At most I’d make them pay airfare (and then only if it’s not too expensive).

That’s based on the assumption that we will be much better off than they are and that they have limited vacation time so it’s a bit of a choice/sacrifice to spend it with us.

I’d much rather have one vacation together a year we all spend together which we subsidize than not have any vacation together (or even have one driven by their budget).

[Anonymous]

Spouse and I are in our mid-30s and parents still pay for vacations — not “big” overseas ones (because we don’t take them with our parents) but beach houses and similar.

In any case, I think you should definitely pay for invited significant others except for maybe something like airfare.

[Anonymous]

I’ll pay as long as I want them to vacation with me! Including SOs.

[Anonymous]

We still pay for our young adult kids. But we don’t take them on every vacation. We also have beach house. We pay for everything when they visit and we host their partners and their partners families frequently.

One of my kids used to flake sometimes so our deal was that he pay for his own airfare. We knew he’d show up if he did that. That time has passed so now we pay the whole bill.

I don’t guess we’ll change until we retire and then only if we can’t afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At most I’d make them pay airfare (and then only if it’s not too expensive).

That’s based on the assumption that we will be much better off than they are and that they have limited vacation time so it’s a bit of a choice/sacrifice to spend it with us.

I’d much rather have one vacation together a year we all spend together which we subsidize than not have any vacation together (or even have one driven by their budget).

This is what we do. You pay airfare and we cover hotel and other expenses. My adult children don’t have extremely high paying jobs so I don’t mind doing this. They may pick up the tab for a lunch.

[Anonymous]

My dying day.

[Anonymous]

Assuming my kid is in a long term relationship I really can’t imagine telling my kid “we’d love to have you join us for vacation but if your SO is coming they need to pay their own way”.

[Anonymous]

OP, might depend on whether paying/money/budget is a problem. And everyone decides differently and that's ok. For me I inherited a little money. Rather than say, buy a condo somewhere as a second home, I consider it travel money. I pay freely to encourage adult children to attend ..for example, their cousin's weddings or join us for holidays. With a a significant other (as long as the other is significant). We pay for visits. I know I would have visited my own parents more if they had paid. Money was so tight when we were a young couple and my parents could have afforded it. We pay for an occasional vacation though to be honest, a lot of young people prefer to pick their own vacation. They have limited time off and have their own ideas.

It's a fine line - have them suggest vacation ideas and honor their preferences. Make it financially -easy- for them to be there. BUT don't count on them wanting to do what you might prefer. Know that they may not be able to give an answer far in advance. I have one who will only be spontaneous, and one that is a planner. Know that you'll have to enjoy whatever arrangements you have made (and eat any additional cost) if it turns out to be just you and your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming my kid is in a long term relationship I really can’t imagine telling my kid “we’d love to have you join us for vacation but if your SO is coming they need to pay their own way”.

This. You either pay for both or neither.

[Anonymous]

We pay all expenses for family vacations because we are grateful that they use their vacation days to spend time with us.