Are we wrong for not allowing the kids to attend?
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Anonymous
| My fiancé and I are having a small, intimate wedding, inviting around 30, mostly family members and our closest friends. Nobody needs to travel, everyone we invited is local. We initially had a family member ask if they could bring their 3yo and 1yo, “or else they couldn’t attend”, and we held firm that no, it was an intimate dinner and not appropriate for children. Then, we had an aunt ask via future-MIL if her 12yo could attend, and we reiterated that no, it wasn’t for children, plus we already told others no children. Everyone is upset this 12yo won’t be attending and think it’s a family travesty. It’s a dinner. I’m so frustrated I’m thinking of scrapping the whole thing, DH agrees. But are we being ridiculous about the children? |
Anonymous
| Nope. Your wedding your decision. And your guests can choose not to attend. |
Anonymous
| If you invite people with kids you invite the kids. |
Anonymous
| We held firm, no regrets. We provided the babysitter though. |
Anonymous
No lol |
Anonymous
| The 12 yo is probably fine and would just be on their phone the whole time but the people with the 3 and 1 year old won’t differentiate, so my advice is hold firm. It’s a slippery slope if you allow one kid to come then people get even more upset and it sounds like it’s not an appropriate event for young kids. |
Anonymous
OP here, and this is my concern. |
Anonymous
The 12 yo can just have a sleepover with a friend that night instead of sitting like an antisocial recluse on their phone in the corner at a party they don't care about. Then OP won't have to crop the buzz kill out of the photos. |
Anonymous
OP this is the pp who wrote this post. IMO your concern is valid and you will have the least hurt feelings by just holding firm on no kids. There is no reason local people can’t get a babysitter for a few hours. If they don’t want to come because they can’t bring their kids oh well! |
Anonymous
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I'm from a culture that welcomes kids at weddings, even small ones. The entire point of getting married is to have kids, otherwise you could just live together for ever without getting married. Kids are a cute delight, and everyone's happy to see them. They are a symbol of hope and guiding light into the future. But you're the bride and you can invite whoever you want. |
Anonymous
| You can do whatever you want but that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences to these decisions. If it’s more important to you to keep it kids only, then do so but it may impact your relationship with your family and only you know if that’s worth it. |
Anonymous
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“Oh I’m so sorry to hear you’ll miss it, let’s catch up when we’re back from the honeymoon!”
No skin off your nose. Ignore anyone who wants to torpedo your plans. |
Anonymous
Not even close to accurate. Do you not have an identity outside your children? Pick up a hobby or something |
Anonymous
Lol no |
Anonymous
Yes. I know Anglo-Saxons are very into child-free weddings (British, Americans, etc), because apparently they can't fathom having elegant, sophisticated affairs with mini-people... but really it makes them look like constipated try-hards. Continental Europe does weddings with kids very well, so do Asian cultures, and we're not talking backyard wedding with barbecue. But if that's above what you can muster, well, your guests will just have to make a choice. |