Feeling guilty because I hate breastfeeding

[Anonymous]

and had such high hopes. He’s decent at nursing but takes a long time and is often finicky at the breast. Most nursing sessions take up to 1 hour with him pulling off and having to latch him again while he screams and cries. He falls asleep so much and I have to keep waking him up to make him eat. This process is about 1 hour long every 1.5-2 hours around the clock. Some nights he eats every 30-45 minutes for several hours. It’s so exhausting and I’m about to just give up. I feel like I can’t even get a break to shower or eat. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this breastfeeding thing. I think I need to switch to pumping or formula but I feel so guilty because breast milk is superior and best for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:and had such high hopes. He’s decent at nursing but takes a long time and is often finicky at the breast. Most nursing sessions take up to 1 hour with him pulling off and having to latch him again while he screams and cries. He falls asleep so much and I have to keep waking him up to make him eat. This process is about 1 hour long every 1.5-2 hours around the clock. Some nights he eats every 30-45 minutes for several hours. It’s so exhausting and I’m about to just give up. I feel like I can’t even get a break to shower or eat. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this breastfeeding thing. I think I need to switch to pumping or formula but I feel so guilty because breast milk is superior and best for him.

OP here. My post got cut off. I’m breastfeeding my 9 day old son.

[Anonymous]

CALORIES are what's best for him! He's going to be eating chicken nuggets and doritos at birthday parties in a couple years anyways. Stop beating yourself up and get some damn formula.

[Anonymous]

I think for the vast majority of us, breastfeeding is AWFUL at least in the beginning.

You’re in the worst part. If you keep going, it will get a lot easier and faster. Right now you’re probably doing it like 8 hours a day. I used a tracker so I know it’s that much even when it’s going well. As they get bigger they just get a lot more efficient.

If you decide to stop though that’s totally fine! Be warned that weaning unleashes a lot of additional hormones to join the post partum soup you already have going. So be really kind to yourself and don’t be surprised if you feel worse before you feel better.

[Anonymous]

Yeah it’s really hard in the beginning. I found pumping and then bottle feeding to be even more time consuming. Whatever you decide to do, it’s okay!

[Anonymous]

How about try pumping and letting your partner do the night feedings so you can get some solid chunks of sleep? Sleep deprivation really deeply messes with our stamina and thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about try pumping and letting your partner do the night feedings so you can get some solid chunks of sleep? Sleep deprivation really deeply messes with our stamina and thoughts.

This is definitely worth a try. I was able to pump after the first feed in the morning, and DH stayed up until 11ish and used that for a “dream feed” so I got a solid chunk of sleep from whenever the baby started her biggest sleep to 2 or so.

But you might have problems with exploding boulder boobs if you do that. It can help perhaps to wear a bra to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think for the vast majority of us, breastfeeding is AWFUL at least in the beginning.

You’re in the worst part. If you keep going, it will get a lot easier and faster. Right now you’re probably doing it like 8 hours a day. I used a tracker so I know it’s that much even when it’s going well. As they get bigger they just get a lot more efficient.

If you decide to stop though that’s totally fine! Be warned that weaning unleashes a lot of additional hormones to join the post partum soup you already have going. So be really kind to yourself and don’t be surprised if you feel worse before you feel better.

OP here. When does it get better?

I am using a tracker to keep track of feeding and diaper changes. I nurse 12-16 hours a day.

[Anonymous]

I breast fed for 7 months and wish I didn't feel the societal pressure to do it. I would have been way better off stopping earlier and DS would have been better off with a mom that wasnt making herself miserable. OP, you are FINE to stop now. You don't need to tough it out in hopes it will get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it’s really hard in the beginning. I found pumping and then bottle feeding to be even more time consuming. Whatever you decide to do, it’s okay!

OP here. I’ve only pumped twice so far. I do use a milk collector most feedings but I don’t have the energy to pump. I do have a Spectra and the MomCozy hands free pump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think for the vast majority of us, breastfeeding is AWFUL at least in the beginning.

You’re in the worst part. If you keep going, it will get a lot easier and faster. Right now you’re probably doing it like 8 hours a day. I used a tracker so I know it’s that much even when it’s going well. As they get bigger they just get a lot more efficient.

If you decide to stop though that’s totally fine! Be warned that weaning unleashes a lot of additional hormones to join the post partum soup you already have going. So be really kind to yourself and don’t be surprised if you feel worse before you feel better.

OP here. When does it get better?

I am using a tracker to keep track of feeding and diaper changes. I nurse 12-16 hours a day.

I’m a DP. It’s been a while, but I recall it getting easier around a month in. I hated it at first, too. I used to binge TV shows in a desperate attempt to distract myself during feedings.

Whatever you choose to do, it’s the right choice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about try pumping and letting your partner do the night feedings so you can get some solid chunks of sleep? Sleep deprivation really deeply messes with our stamina and thoughts.

OP here. The nurses and hospital lactation consultant told me to feed or pump every 2-3 hours around the clock for at least 4-6 weeks to establish my milk supply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think for the vast majority of us, breastfeeding is AWFUL at least in the beginning.

You’re in the worst part. If you keep going, it will get a lot easier and faster. Right now you’re probably doing it like 8 hours a day. I used a tracker so I know it’s that much even when it’s going well. As they get bigger they just get a lot more efficient.

If you decide to stop though that’s totally fine! Be warned that weaning unleashes a lot of additional hormones to join the post partum soup you already have going. So be really kind to yourself and don’t be surprised if you feel worse before you feel better.

OP here. When does it get better?

I am using a tracker to keep track of feeding and diaper changes. I nurse 12-16 hours a day.

12-16 hours? That’s in one day? That seems excessive. Check for poor milk transfer or low supply. That doesn’t seem normal.

[Anonymous]

Breastfeeding is awful which is they have to push it and have support groups. There’s nothing wrong with you. Plenty of women can’t stand it. Thankfully there’s formula to the rescue! You don’t need to be chained to your baby or with a baby on your boob all the day…there’s formula. Use it, enjoy your life and don’t look back.

I breastfed my first and regret it. I couldn’t stand it and it made me resent my baby. It doesn’t matter how you feed your baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think for the vast majority of us, breastfeeding is AWFUL at least in the beginning.

You’re in the worst part. If you keep going, it will get a lot easier and faster. Right now you’re probably doing it like 8 hours a day. I used a tracker so I know it’s that much even when it’s going well. As they get bigger they just get a lot more efficient.

If you decide to stop though that’s totally fine! Be warned that weaning unleashes a lot of additional hormones to join the post partum soup you already have going. So be really kind to yourself and don’t be surprised if you feel worse before you feel better.

OP here. When does it get better?

I am using a tracker to keep track of feeding and diaper changes. I nurse 12-16 hours a day.

12-16 hours? That’s in one day? That seems excessive. Check for poor milk transfer or low supply. That doesn’t seem normal.

OP here. Really? Should I worry?