Why do some women think it's acceptable to get engaged without a ring?

[Anonymous]

My sister and another friend got "engaged" recently. None of them had rings and in the case of my sister, there was not even a proposal, just her and the guy agreeing on a date to get married later this year. I feel like it sets the bar very low for their partners and it's not something women should be ok with. My husband too popped the question without one and it felt incredibly informal, as if he wasn't serious about getting married. I told him that a ring was important to me and he popped the question again a week later with a ring.

A ring doesn't even need to be expensive, there are many cute rings for less than $500. It's the symbolism behind it that's important. It doesn't seem that my friend and sister are being taken seriously by their men, but they look like they're ok with it which is baffling. Women should stop pretending to be cool girls and set higher standards for their partners.

[Anonymous]

Because they’re poor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they’re poor?

No, they aren't. Both of them have good jobs and so do their partners.

[Anonymous]

They get the ring soon after. Proposed right then and there. Lightly planned. Can go pick out the ring together and size them right.

[Anonymous]

So like no diamond engagement ring ever?

Just a question and start planning?

I suppose that’s how how lots of the world does it and then just wears wedding bands once married.

[Anonymous]

Because to them it's acceptable. If none of the parties care about rings and proposals why should they go ahead with it? It sounds like you are the one with the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They get the ring soon after. Proposed right then and there. Lightly planned. Can go pick out the ring together and size them right.

That's what I assumed so I asked them. They said they had no plans to get a ring.

[Anonymous]

Meh. My spouse and I don't even wear our wedding bands. We hate wearing rings. She told me she didn't want a diamond. She has never worn a piece of jewelry ever, except maybe earrings on a very rare occasion like a wedding once every 7 years. Waste.of.money. Going strong after 13+ years of marriage.

Many cultures in the world have no concept of engagement rings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because to them it's acceptable. If none of the parties care about rings and proposals why should they go ahead with it? It sounds like you are the one with the problem.

I know they find it acceptable. That's the point. It's sad they're ok with it.

[Anonymous]

My husband was a completely broke at the time. My mom ended up giving him a family ring but it wasn't worth him going into debt for. Now that he can afford it he's offered and got me another ring to match my rings but years later I haven't worn my rings in years nor has he and don't care. After 20+ years of marriage the material things matter less and less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. My spouse and I don't even wear our wedding bands. We hate wearing rings. She told me she didn't want a diamond. She has never worn a piece of jewelry ever, except maybe earrings on a very rare occasion like a wedding once every 7 years. Waste.of.money. Going strong after 13+ years of marriage.

Many cultures in the world have no concept of engagement rings.

But we're from a culture that does, that's why it's weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because to them it's acceptable. If none of the parties care about rings and proposals why should they go ahead with it? It sounds like you are the one with the problem.

I know they find it acceptable. That's the point. It's sad they're ok with it.

You have my permission to cry.

[Anonymous]

Wedding band, yes. But engagement ring, I did not want. Partner respected that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. My spouse and I don't even wear our wedding bands. We hate wearing rings. She told me she didn't want a diamond. She has never worn a piece of jewelry ever, except maybe earrings on a very rare occasion like a wedding once every 7 years. Waste.of.money. Going strong after 13+ years of marriage.

Many cultures in the world have no concept of engagement rings.

My spouse and I are the same. We both just hate rings.

OP, you need to lighten up. It's not your wedding, it's not your relationship. It's really pretty silly to place so much weight on the "symbolism" on an engagement ring. Your sister and friend sound sensible to many of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because to them it's acceptable. If none of the parties care about rings and proposals why should they go ahead with it? It sounds like you are the one with the problem.

I agree.

I not only never had an engagement ring, we forgot to buy rings for the wedding! The Justice of the Peace made some out of yellow Post-It notes and we got gold rings a week or so later.

Married 20 years.