What kind of person is my husband?

[Anonymous]

Is he going to inherit money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Putting it kindly he’s an absent minded professor type who needs a helpmeet type wife and preferably at least one o f then is independently wealthy.

Less kindly he either has ADHD or a trust fund or both.

Please stop trying to perpetuate this cutesy name for a man child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a run-of-the-mill idiot.

Fascinating how you posted ONE SECOND after the OP post. Simply fascinating.

Actually 4 posts within 3 seconds of the OP.

Fascinating indeed.

NP. When the timestamp goes from 16:23 to 16:24, that's one minute, not one second. It could even be almost two minutes, if OP posted at 16.23 and one second, and a response came in at 16.24 and 59 seconds.

Agree, very fishy rapid fire posts.

Jeffs website has been taken over recently by trolls.

Or maybe we the new advertising model he’s paying bots or overseas posters to ramp up the clicks and posts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ack, my 15 yo is your husband.

Get him professional adhd/asd help and executive functional coaching stat. Or else you will be swooping in for decades.

His wife will thank you. And stay his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a run-of-the-mill idiot.

Is this the same as “the town idiot?”

Sure, aka untreated mental disorder(s).

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I notice that he is very...spacy. He is always either on his phone, playing video games or playing the guitar or working. He does not spend much of his time present and in the moment. He leaves cabinet doors open; if he takes something out, he will make a pile of them on the counter. In the bathroom there are bottles of finished products or medicine that he never throws away. The finished toilet paper rolls are lined up above the toilet. His clothes are strewn all along his side of the bedroom.

His office has tons of unhanged certificates and diplomas. Piles upon piles of papers, books, magazines, receipts.

He lives in his head and does not live in reality. All conversations are about theory, art, books, music. No thought to life planning or logistics.

Is this a personality type? a disorder?

Could be ADHD. Could be that he is lazy.

Either way, it doesn't sound NEW. Why did you marry him if he doesn't live in reality or think about life planning?

OP here...at 24 I did not give much thought to life planning either. At 35 however his spacyness is very concerning. He has no sense of time or life phases. He just exists in his own thoughts and time-space continuum.

Everything you've described is classic ADHD Inattentive, particularly "no sense of time or life phases" - that is called "time-blindness" and it is part of ADHD and explains why ADHD people have so much difficulty with planning and keeping up with life tasks and long term goals.

More on time-blindness here
https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/time-blindness-adhd-productivity-management/ This whole podcast series has a lot of info on ADHD all from credible sources. I'm sure if you look at episode titles and listen you will find things that really sound like your DH. They also have a YouTube channel.

The spaciness is part of ADHD brain neurology. There is a TPN network, which is "turned on" when attention to task is necessary. There is a DMN network which allows your mind to wander - rumination, imagination, etc. When you are doing something the Task Positive Network is more active and the DMN is supposed to quiet down, but it doesn't, so we get distracted or we are immersed in our own thoughts. It's a problem when you need to buckle down and do boring tasks but it's a superpower when you need to really think through problems and solutions and learn about complicated things.

Our ADHD brains are wired to attend to and be motivated by things that ate interesting, challenging, urgent or novel. Neurotypical brains are wired to pay attention to things by order, importance, etc. Life planning and logistics is so boring it is painful.

Habits, structure, routine and outside support help (housekeeping, accountants, financial advisers, etc.)

Not OP.

This is one of the more helpful things I have read about ADHD, thank you.

I appreciate this highlighting the benefits/superpowers, because it tracks with my life and observations being married to a successful and brilliant scientist who also seems to be flat out incompetent at times regarding everyday life.

Unfortunately unlike the wife of a very successful doctor up thread, academics don’t typically earn enough to outsource what they can’t handle. I can’t say I’d marry this “type” again if I could go back for a do over.

[Anonymous]

Absentminded; dreamy. Is he a Pisces?