Diarrhea Don

On Saturday, over 7 million people participated in "No Kings" rallies held across the United States. The events were almost completely peaceful, for the most part resembling street celebrations. A woman in Alabama who was wearing an inflatable penis costume was arrested for "lewd conduct," and a handful of MAGA supporters were detained for various reasons, but police officials generally praised the demonstrators for their conduct. The broad resonance of the "No Kings" message was clearly displayed. Not surprisingly, the reaction of the current administration, which is mostly staffed by Internet trolls, was to troll. In doing so, administration officials reinforced rather than rebutted the message that cult leader, convicted felon, and failed President Donald Trump relishes the idea of being a king.

Trump posted an AI-generated video showing him wearing a crown while piloting a fighter jet over a city and then dropping a payload of feces on "No Kings" demonstrators below (one of whom was prominent TikToker Harry Sisson). MAGA fans obviously claim that this was meant as a joke. But the president visually demonstrating that he wants to shit on his own country appears to be an example of Michael Kinsley's definition of a "gaffe". Kinsley famously said that a "gaffe is when a politician tells the truth." Trump, who has repeatedly said that he hates his opponents, perhaps inadvertently, demonstrated his true feelings. Trump, who is rumored to suffer from incontinence, might also want to be careful of such public displays of loss of bowel control. 

Not to be left behind, Vice President and Reply Guy JD Vance posted another AI-generated video showing Trump being crowned King with Democratic officials kneeling before him. The "Trump War Room," which describes itself as an official account of Trump's political operation, posted multiple photos showing Trump wearing a crown. The same account retweeted a post from "Team Trump's" Instagram page showing Trump in full royal attire waving from a White House balcony.

This is the state of our current politics. Trolling and "lib-owning" by the country's highest elected officials. But when your reaction to "No Kings" demonstrations is to suggest that not only are you a king, but that you want to shit all over those that you are supposed to represent, you have clearly lost the plot. Trump and Vance are showing disdain for the offices they hold and the people that they are supposed to serve. Trump and Vance make clear that they view the public, not as those to whom they are beholden, but rather as those that they rule. This is the behavior of a king, not a president or vice president.

The irony of Trump and Vance revealing themselves as little more than literal shitposters is that Republicans once demanded respect for the office of President and adherence to presidential decorum. It was not that long ago that former President Barack Obama was lambasted for simply wearing a brown suit. More recently, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene's current boyfriend, who masquerades as a reporter, took Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to task for failing to wear a suit to a meeting with Trump. Trump and Vance may be unerring in wearing correctly colored suits, but they have turned the White House into a branch of 4Chan. Trump portraying himself as a king who shits on the American people will largely go unremarked upon. The media is simply too cowardly to report on it accurately, and every Republican official alive will claim not to have seen the post. Yet, this video alone should be disqualifying for Trump and should bring immediate demands for the invocation of the 25th Amendment.

This weekend there was another, more dangerous, demonstration of the contempt with which this administration holds the American people. Coinciding with the "No Kings" demonstrations on Saturday, JD Vance, who seems to never miss an opportunity to overcompensate, was dispatched to California to participate in the 250th anniversary of the Marine Corps. For some reason, the best idea this crew could come up with was to fire live ordnance from a beach, over Interstate 5, and onto a firing range at Camp Pendleton. Interstate 5 is the main north–south Interstate Highway on the West Coast. California Governor Gavin Newsom reacted with anger to the plans, fearing that the firing might endanger travellers on the road below. He ordered the closure of a 17-mile stretch of the interstate, which is a heavily traveled corridor between Los Angeles and San Diego. Vance's spokesperson criticized Newsom, saying, "Gavin Newsom wants people to think this exercise is dangerous...The Marine Corps says it’s an established and safe practice. Newsom wants people to think this is an absurd show of force. The Marine Corps says it’s part of routine training at Camp Pendleton." Guess who turned out to be right?

On Saturday, the Marines had planned to fire multiple rounds but abruptly stopped after the first round. There was no immediate explanation for the change of plans, but the reason for the sudden halt became clear yesterday. As reported by the New York Times, one of the shells fired during the first round exploded prematurely over the interstate. Fragments from the 155-millimeter shell damaged a "California Highway Patrol vehicle and motorcycle that were part of Vice President JD Vance’s protective detail". It is perfectly fitting that JD Vance would hold an unnecessary display of live fire and, metaphorically, shoot himself in the foot. Both Vance and his spokesperson have been silent about the event, which proved that Newsom's concerns were well-founded.

Day after day, Trump and Vance demonstrate that they see the American public as subjects, not citizens. Whether it is Trump attempting to rule by Sharpie, simply signing executive orders rather than passing laws, or Vance putting the public in danger with unnecessary displays of machismo, neither has respect for the people they were elected to serve. If the public peacefully demonstrates in favor of a country that has no kings, Trump will place a crown upon his head and shit on them. As Walter Cronkite used to say, "And that's the way it is".