Tuesday's Most Active Posts

Leading in both number of replies and number of views yesterday was a thread in the "Elementary School-Aged Kids" forum titled, "African parents please weigh in on manners". I thought the original post was interesting, relating how a fellow parent who is from a West African country had told the original poster that the original poster's child does not acknowledge them when the child sees them and that this is considered rude in the other parent's culture. Children are expected to initiate greetings to elders. The original poster was wondering if this is truly an expectation.

The first reply stated that this was also an old school American tradition while responders from various parts of Africa confirmed that it was the expected practice. However, some replies were defensive and critical of the African parent. One poster even threatened physical violence toward the other parent which reminds me that DCUM does have its share of Internet tough guys who are incredibly brave when hiding behind anonymous posts. Unfortunately, the main takeaway from this thread is that DCUM posters of all cultures can probably work on improving their manners as the thread broke out in name calling and petty bickering. Things got so bad that I eventually locked the thread.

Second in both replies and views was a thread titled, "Why do young people have kids they can't afford?" that was posted in the "General Parenting Discussion" forum. The original poster describes relatives that had children in their teens and then additional children in their 20s. These women struggle financially and socially, causing the original poster to wonder why the women wanted children at such young ages. This type of question is not unusual but I always wonder just how sheltered and/or privileged posters of such questions must be. Clearly this topic involves a number of different issues leading to various and sometimes complex explanations. But I also know from past threads that such discussions are unlikely to successfully explore the nuances, intricacies, and social factors involved. Looking at the last page of the thread, it appears to have devolved to posters questioning each other's reading and writing abilities and arguing about the best age for birthing children.

Third in number of views and fourth in number of replies was a thread in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum titled, "Question for divorced men." The original poster is a man considering divorce but has been advised by divorced friends that it is better to remain married and cheat. He asks, as the title clearly states, for divorced men to share their experiences. Unfortunately for this poster, DCUM has a number of users who lack any sense of discipline or impulse control. So, while he did get some replies from divorced men, he received an abundance of feedback from women, both married and divorced. Needless to say, very little of that seems to have been helpful. This phenomenon of posters butting in where they are not wanted is not limited to threads like this one — we see it with nearly all topics. Nor is it limited by gender as the incel invasions of threads aimed at women clearly demonstrate. I've even seen posters justify their intrusions, prioritizing their need to provide unwanted and unhelpful input over the original poster's desire for constructive advice. In this case, it looks like the thread was completely highjacked by discussions of men's income levels and another poster's relationship.

Another thread that was a leader in both number of views and number of replies was titled, "Fragmented Work Day -- How to be effective and advance career" and posted in the "Jobs and Careers" forum. The original poster describes circumstances with which a lot of our users can likely relate. The original poster has three young childen who attend separate schools. Both the poster and the poster's spouse have full time jobs, but the spouse's job doesn't allow time for helping with parenting duties such as school drop offs, pick-ups, and chauffeuring to and from activities. Therefore, the original poster is left to juggle all of those activities with the responsibilities of a job. This results in the original poster having a very fragmented work schedule in which job activities are regularly interrupted by parenting tasks. Without reading every post of the thread, it appears that the thread stayed on topic and mostly helpful in replies. This is the type of thread in which our community can take some pride.