Wednesday's Most Active Threads

The trend that I have mentioned every day this week in which many of the most active threads are older threads that I've already discussed not only continued yesterday, but actually became more pronounced. Fully eight of the top 10 most active threads were ones about which I've already written. As a result, the first thread that I will discuss today was actually yesterday's seventh most active. Titled, "I’m so sick of dogs everywhere" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum, the original poster describes two recent incidents in which she was in public places and encountered pet dogs. One was a restaurant with patio seating where another customer's dog kept lunging at another dog and brushing against the original poster's husband's leg. The other encounter was with two dogs in a grocery store. The original poster wants to know why some people feel the need to bring their dogs with them everywhere. The first thing I did when I saw this thread today was move it to the "Pets" forum. So that is where you will find it now. Debates over where dogs do and do not belong are pretty legendary on DCUM and, as such, I expected this thread get heated. What I was not prepared for was exactly the way in which it got heated. If someone wanted to satirize a DCUM thread, this thread is a good example of how it might turn out. The first poster to respond berated the original poster, not because she was not tolerant of dogs, but because she had been too passive in response to her encounters. The poster was angry that the original poster didn't complain to the manager of the restaurant and didn't contact the Health Department about the dogs in the grocery store. When another poster told a cute story about a dog on a high speed train in France, another poster accused her of liking dogs more than people. But that poster was silent when a poster complained that some restaurants are more hospitable to dogs than children and was told that is because kids are worse than dogs. Other posters agreed with that last poster and expressed happiness that dogs are more welcome than children in some places. As in most things, opinions on this topic exist on a spectrum. Yet it is the extreme opinions that get the most attention, which, of course, is not unusual. Those extreme positions, in turn, caused extreme reactions. In response to anti-dog posts, some dog owners promised to begin bringing their dogs to public places more often. In response to intransigent dog owners, other posters say they will begin complaining to management and other authorities more frequently. For much of the thread I wondered why those who bring their dogs everywhere didn't provide explanations for that behavior. But then explanations were provided and I almost felt that made things worse. For instance, some posters bring their dogs inside stores and restaurants because they are afraid that if they tied them up outside they would be stolen. Maybe not an unreasonable fear, but why bring the dog in the first place then? The answer in one case was because the dog is uncomfortable when left at home alone.

Skipping additional threads that I've already discussed brings me to the tenth most active thread yesterday. That thread was posted in the "Soccer" forum and titled, "DC United Academy - aa strong academy or not". The DC United Academy is a soccer program associated with the DC United Major League Soccer team. Its youth component, also called the Academy, which I guess technically would be the DC United Academy Academy, has teams for ages 14 - 19 and, depending on age, plays in one of two national leagues. The original poster started this thread because discussion of the DC United Academy was taking over other threads. I, of course, don't know anything about this topic and, as such, I had a fairly difficult time following the discussion. From what I gather, many posters have a dismal view of the Academy. According to them, despite being competitive nationally, it is poorly managed and underperforms. They also suggest that many talented local players pass on opportunities offered by the Academy and choose other programs. The Academy, however, has its defenders and that's what keeps this thread going. The two sides battle back and forth giving contrary opinions. Some posters put quite a bit of effort into their responses such as one 15 paragraph, 1037 word analysis of the Academy's strengths and weaknesses. Defenders of the program frequently argue that the detractors are parents of kids not skilled enough to be offered a spot in the Academy. The critics rebut that suggestion, often claiming that their kids wouldn't accept the opportunity even if it were offered. One poster pointed out that the Academy is fairly small, probably involving less than 100 kids from the entire region including Baltimore. As such, the topic is irrelevant to most of the posters because considering a spot in the Academy will never be an issue for them. The intense interest and strong opinions are, therefore, a bit confusing. In contrast, another poster argues that many of the posters in the thread likely have kids in the pool of players that the Academy is scouting and, therefore, they have a genuine interest. Which argument is correct? I have no idea. On top of everything else, there is very little tolerance for differing opinions. Those holding contrary positions are almost universally accused of having a personal bias. One accusation is that an Academy critic is actually the owner of a competing club. Defenders are said to have ties of some sort to the Academy and have a vested interested in protecting its image. One post that made me laugh was from a poster writing, "HOLLY COW!! gone a month on [vacation]. What did I miss?" Little does this poster know that the 13 page thread was only started two days ago. To become a professional soccer player requires commitment and determination that most people lack. The same can be said about reading this thread.

Since there are no more threads from the ten most active that I have not already discussed, I posted in the "Website Feedback" forum asking for suggestions. But, I didn't get responses. However, last month the most prolific commenter on this blog, Avalon, made a suggestion. While that thread is not current, I'll discuss it anyway. I had forgotten that a second commenter also made a suggestion and I may get to that one another day. The thread that Avalon recommended was titled, "And the woman of my dreams just ruined it". Posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum, the original poster says that he has had a crush on a woman for about 10 years and, until recently, she never looked his way. Now, however, he is disappointed in her because, based on a conversation, he believes that she is a "flirt". The original poster says that has ruined how he views the woman. My immediate reaction to this thread was that the original poster was likely a troll because I didn't think that anyone could really be this pathetic. Looking at other threads by the poster, however, suggests that he is not trolling and actually is that pathetic. There is not much that those responding can do to help the original poster. He is convinced that his objection to flirting, and his determination that the "women of his dreams" is a flirt, are completely logical. He has no interest in changing his thinking. As such, I am not sure what he expects from the thread. What he gets are many defenses of the woman and her explanation for her behavior (which is not "flirting") and suggestions that he may have mental health problems. A number of posters accuse the original poster of being an incel and there are several suggestions that the woman was probably being nice to the original poster simply because he set off lots of red flags and she didn't want to upset him. They think that he did her a favor by losing interest. While the original poster seems like a bit of a lost cause, he does bring attention to an important issue. The woman had said that she tends to be friendly to other men because it can be dangerous to anger them and might even result in being shot. Even when she doesn't sense danger, she is nice because she has been conditioned as such. The way this is explained, being nice to strange men as a means of defense, is widely accepted by other posters. One poster referred to Gavin de Becker's "The Gift of Fear" and said, "Yes, women are conditioned to be nice and polite, even in situations that make them uncomfortable and fearful. It absolutely makes sense...". At the same time, this friendliness can be misunderstood and, as in the case of the original poster, considered flirting. When women detect that a man with whom they are being friendly is, in turn, flirting, they often have to "turn down the dial on friendliness". While most of the posters reacted very negatively to the original poster and had no interest in providing any sort of assistance, a few, including Avalon, attempted to offer helpful advice. These posters suggested that the original poster was wrong to put the woman on a pedestal and spend ten years viewing her as perfect. That was setting her up for failure because nobody could live up to that standard.

Finally, I'll take this opportunity to address what might be called a DCUM "classic" thread and discuss DCUM history. Newer users of this website might have noticed the tradition of generically naming children "Larla". Larla is sort of the Jane or John Doe of DCUM. If you have ever wondered about the origin story of that name, you are about to find out. Way back in 2011, a poster started a thread titled, "‘Larla’ as girl's name" and said that she had come up with the name while half awake and she wanted to know if others liked it. What followed were three pages of universal dislike for the name. That is perhaps the longest streak of agreement that has ever been witnessed on DCUM. On page 4, a poster offered her own suggestions for names, including "Blogge", "Strooper", "Cartoni", and "Lurke". The poster followed up with what was probably the best of the bunch, "Farten". On page 6, a poster claiming to be the original poster suggested that she had faked the thread but I am not convinced that this was actually the original poster. Regardless, it was too late and "Larla" had entered DCUM's lexicon. Periodically after that, someone would either bump this thread or stumble across it and draw new attention to it. In 2014 a poster revived it and there were a flurry of responses, several of which expressed an interest in learning the history of the name "Larla". Little did they realize that the thread they were reading was the origin. Later it turned out that there are actually individuals named Larla. A post in late 2014 was from a poster saying that her daughter was named Larla. Then in 2015 a poster showed up saying that her mother was named Larla. She posted her mother's personalized license plate that had her name and a picture of her mother. After posters started accusing the real Larla of looking like a stripper, something that for years posters had suggested went with the name, I removed those images for privacy reasons. Larla's daughter, however, had a sense of humor and was not only not offended by the discussion, but enjoyed it. Eventually Larla herself started posting. She confirmed that many of the warnings that posters had used to dissuade the original poster from using the name had turned out to be correct and she had suffered through many of them such as being called "Larvae". Larla, who described herself as a "hedgehog breeder", was a good sport and expressed appreciation for the humor in the thread. Also in 2015 another poster saying that her name was Larla appeared, but with less of a sense of humor. After that the thread was periodically revived by a combination of posters wanting to draw attention to it and others showing bewilderment about why the name was so common on DCUM. The thread caused lots of lightbulbs to go off in posters' heads. In addition to Larla, posters developed the male equivalent of "Larlo" and "Larleen" for a litle sister. Every once in a while a poster will start a thread with the apparent hope of adding another name to the DCUM folklore. But, nothing has ever been able to complete with Larla.