Tuesday's Most Active Threads

The most active thread yesterday was the campus protest thread that I have already discussed. That thread had nearly six times as many posts as the next most active thread which was titled, "Disney DAS" and posted in the "Travel Discussion" forum. The original poster says that she is anxious about upcoming changes to the Disney's DAS program and asked if anyone knows what to expect. I had no idea to what the original poster was referring and had to do some quick research. "DAS" is Disney World's Disability Access Service which, according to its web page, accommodates guests who "due to a developmental disability like autism or similar, are unable to wait in a conventional queue for an extended period of time." Apparently, guests with DAS access are assigned an entry time to an "experience" — as Disney calls them — that corresponds to the length of the current queue. Such guests don't have to physically stand in line, but just return at their assigned time. The current Disney webpage only contains information about DAS up to May 19 and it seems that changes to the program will be introduced beginning May 20. But with folks attempting to plan trips that will occur after that date, the lack of information about the changes is causing some frustration as in the case of the original poster. Those responding in this thread don't really have any more information about the upcoming changes than the original poster does, so instead replies focus on rumors or describe past experiences. Some posters complained that the DAS system has been abused in the past which might be the reason for the changes. In addition, the DAS program is compared to other programs that Disney offers such as Genie+ and Lightening Lanes. Several parents of children with autism explained how the program had been helpful to them and worried that it might not be continued. But parents with kids without autism complained that the long lines are difficult for young children generally and that Disney should rethink how it handles lines to better accomodate all young children. One poster reported that her family was approved for DAS post May 20 and that the rule changes were not significant. At some point the thread broke out into an argument about using both Genie+ and DAS. For those who, like me, know nothing about this stuff, Genie+ allows guests to use short, fast-moving Lightening Lanes for a select number of rides. Some posters reported using both Genie+ and DAS to keep line waits to a minimum. This upset other posters who thought that using both programs was taking advantage of system. As one poster wrote, "You shouldn't be able to use Genie + if you have DAS. It's double dipping." In response, a poster wrote, "It looks like you can only get a certain #of ride passes per day with the DAS. If you can use Genie + to get on other rides quickly, why wouldn’t you?" Most of the rest of the thread simply consisted of variations of this debate.

The next most active thread yesterday was posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum and titled, "Wife friendship with male neighbor". The original poster says that he and his wife have been married for 10 years, have two kids, and are in their 40s. They have lived in their current neighborhood for 10 years and get along great with their neighbors, having frequent social events. Years ago, the original poster's wife developed a friendship with a particularly social and well-liked male neighbor. As time went on, the two started to spend more time together, even exercising together prior to the COVID pandemic. While they haven't been exercising together since then, they tend to gravite to each other at social events, often sitting next to each other. The original poster has been uncomfortable with this relationship for some time, but didn't say anything to his wife. He is also convinced that neighbors have noticed the closeness of his wife and the neighbor and that has increased his concern. Recently his suspicions got the better of him and he went through the texts that his wife and neighbor had exchanged. The texts go back years but they were mostly "innocent and innocuous stuff". Nevertheless, the original poster confided in his wife that her relationship with the neighbor made him uncomfortable. He did not tell her that he went through her texts. The original poster's wife appeared to be hurt and questioned why he brought this up now and not back when they were exercising together. Since this conversation took place, she has been giving the original poster the silent treatment. Many posters don't see much ambiguity here. Some are certain that the original poster's wife and the neighbor have had or are having an affair. Others argue that it is completely possible for two adults of the opposite sex to have an innocent friendship and that the original poster is wrong to be suspicious. Among those who lean toward the relationship being innocent are those who believe that the two sitting together at social events is a good sign. If they were having an affair, these posters argue, they would avoid one another when in the company of others. A number of posters took a more nuanced approach, suggesting that the original poster's wife and the neighbor probably have feelings for each other and may have at some time in the past come close to crossing the line without actually crossing it. Most of these posters believe that the original poster is right to be concerned because the feelings between the two probably still exist. Some posters have the same theory except suggesting that the line actually had been crossed in the past but things ended. Much of this thread entails users describing their own experiences and the various views posters hold about the likelihood of someone cheating. Some posters think that in the right circumstances anyone could be a cheater while others argue that people are either cheaters or they aren't.

Next was a thread titled, "Tim Carney in the Post: The Ideal Number of Kids is Four (at a minimum)" and posted in the "General Parenting Discussion". The original poster provided a link to an opinion piece in The Washington Post written by Tim Carney of the American Enterprise Institute. The original poster went on to summarize Carney's main points and to note things that he had not addressed. Carney argues that having four or more children is ideal. His argument in favor of this is that having fewer children leads to "child-centric" intensive parenting that he believes, and supports with some data, prevents children from developing independence, self-determination, and other important characteristics. As the number of children in a family increases, parents are forced to practice less-intensive parenting and the older children also begin to take many parenting duties. Carney provides further statistics showing that mothers are increasingly less happy as their number of children increases until the number reaches four. Mothers with four children are happier than those with fewer, which Carney attributes to the older kids taking over some parenting responsibilities. Carney also argues that four or more kids create their own friend group within which they play together and entertain each other. As the original poster notes, Carney does not account for the financial burden of so many children, discuss the impact on the mother in terms of financial and professional development given that she will most likely be forced to be a stay-at-home-mom, describe the impact of unexpected family stressors such as a child with special needs, or discuss whether multiple children results in neglect. A poster who is a mother of five children confirms that, in her case, almost everything Carney wrote is true. She is the happiest that she has ever been and, moreover, her career is "on fire". Other posters take issue with parenting being pushed off on to the older children. Many posters consider this exploitation of the kids and remark that, of course, parenting is easier when you make the older children take responsibility while you slack off. A number of posters argue that the ideal number of children is not universal and what might work for one family won't work for another. Quite a few posters take issue with Carney's association with AEI and vow to ignore anything connected to that organization. Others say that it is easy for Carney to take this position since he didn't have to give birth to the children and probably avoids most of the child-rearing responsibilities. They say that they would prefer to hear from his wife. Another poster who is a mom of four agrees that more children can make parenting easier because the kids keep each other occupied and watch over one another. However, the flip side is more cooking and laundry.

The final thread that I will discuss today was posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. Titled, "Ivy League Schools", the original poster says that her son has been accepted by "a couple Ivy League schools" and she wants to know other's opinions of those schools as well as the benefits of Ivy League schools over another "top 50" school. To me, this post has "troll" written all over it. But, surprisingly, nobody accused the original poster of trolling despite that being an almost reflexive move in this forum. It doesn't matter much because the original poster doesn't seem to have revisited the thread so most of the discussion had nothing to do with her. It seems like the college forum now has daily threads about the Ivy League with several posters eager to bash the schools. This is a change from past years when threads about Ivy League schools mostly dealt with how to get a student into one. Several posters said that without further information such as which Ivy and which other top 50 schools were involved, or information about the field of study the original poster's son was going to pursue, they couldn't really provide good answers. Since that information was never provided posters just argued about the benefits of Ivy League schools versus others. Given the great many previous threads that have addressed this topic, very few of the posts offered anything new. One poster argued that "Broadly speaking, an Ivy League degree suggests that one is smart, hard-working,and ambitious" but that the same is true of several other top non-Ivy universities. Others felt that the same presumption, absent other information, did not necessarily convey to graduates of most non-Ivies. Some posters suggested that the main benefit of attending an Ivy League school these days was bragging rights. Being able to put a sticker on a car or name drop the school in a conversation were mentioned, somewhat facetiously, as advantages. Several posters point to specific programs at non-Ivy schools that they believe outperform the same programs at Ivy schools. For instance, Georgetown University's School of Foreign Service was promoted as being better than anything the Ivy League has to offer. Other posters made similar arguments for STEM programs with some posters arguing that several state schools have stronger programs. But another poster argued that this is not true in terms of career outcomes and linked to a Wall Street Journal article showing that Ivy League Universities dominate career outcomes in such fields. It is popular to hate on Ivies these days with many posters claiming to be put off by the politics of the schools. To an extent, I think many of these posts are coming from the same posters over and over again and some posters may really mean it. But I've read far too many posts over the years from those who would give their left arm for an Ivy acceptance to believe that opinion has turned so far against the schools. Moreover, given the difficulty of getting into the schools, for most it is not a real consideration. However, some fun can still be had. I am going to quote one post in full because it was just too good:

When our Blaine got into an Ivy League school I had the gardeners cut all of the ivy off of our back property divide, brought it out to the front property gates and spelled out the school name in Ivy vines. I thought that was far more understated than the tacky yard signs (plus, those are much too small and you can’t see our lawn from the driveway up to the house).