Wednesday's Most Active Threads

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "I got an email telling me my daughter is a mean girl." and posted in the "Tweens and Teens" forum. The original poster explains that she received an anonymous email saying that her teen daughter is a "mean girl" who gossips and excludes others. The original poster says that she knows that her daughter is popular and is sometimes frustrated by expectations that she be everyone's friend, but does not have a feeling that she is a mean girl. The original poster asks for advice about what to do. This is a 14 page thread and I've only read a few pages of it. Based on that limited exposure, I am inclined to say that the original poster is one of the most level-headed participants in the thread. She is neither ruling out nor completely accepting the accusations in the email. While she recognizes that her daughter has faults and is therefore willing to consider the possibility that she is a mean girl, the original poster doesn't feel like the email is sufficient evidence of this being true. Some posters were prepared to accept the email as fact and declare the child a certified mean girl and, by implication, her mother a bad parent. Others were more skeptical, suggesting nefarious explanations for the email in which the original poster's daughter was more a victim than a victimizer. Much of the discussion in this thread is less about how to react to the email and more about the appropriateness of anonymous emails. Quite a few posters view this as a completely valid means of communication while others are critical of both the practice and those who condone it. Personally, as a recipient of many generous, but unlikely to be true, proposals from random Nigerian governmental officials, I don't trust anything that comes in email these days.

The second most active thread yesterday was posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. Titled, "Good friend canceled on us to be with her SO", the original poster is upset that her friend who was planning to host the original poster and a third friend at her New York City home cancelled because the woman's boyfriend had unexpectedly rented a lake house which she wanted to visit instead. Sadly, this poster is a troll and a sock puppet. She posted four responses on the first page of the thread, each supporting the friend who had cancelled. As such, I've locked the thread. Obviously, one of the drawbacks of an anonymous website is that it is easy to sock puppet threads. Personally, I don't see the point, but I guess some people are simply bored. I hate to think what your life has to be like before you get to the point that creating a fake thread on DCUM is the best entertainment with which you can come up. Generally, posters in this forum will start calling posters "trolls" at the drop of a hat, so I'm surprised they didn't spot this one. For instance, who goes to New York City to have a picnic? The place is famous for its restaurants so it's a bit like going to Florida to enjoy snow sports.

Third was a thread titled, "Young Republicans Club?" and posted in the "Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS)" forum. Ostensibly, the original poster is interested in "diversity of thought" and, therefore, interested in which Montgomery County Public Schools have clubs for Republicans or independents. The poster claims, incorrectly, that all of the schools have clubs for young Democrats. This poster could well have a sincere interest in this topic, but it is unlikely. The poster has a pattern of starting threads on provocative topics consistent with the Republican culture war such as teaching about gender transitioning to young children. Moreover, most of the poster's threads have been about private schools, so I doubt that the purported interest in MCPS is real. The thread was reported almost immediately as a troll thread, but I decided to let it go to see how it went. But then I forgot about it and when it was reported again, it had reached 11 pages of mostly political debate. So, I locked it. Suffice it to say that just as White men are currently the main victims of racism, Republicans are the ones who suffer the most by restrictions on freedom of expression. Or, at least that is what Republicans will tell you. It is not at all surprising these days to have Republicans simultaneously present a list of books they want banned from schools — mostly dealing with minorities or LGBTQ topics — and complain that Democrats are intolerant of diversity of thought. Republicans are truly in favor of free expression, as long as that freedom stays within the parameters that they dictate. Support for their intolerant ideas is squarely within those parameters, but that's about where it ends. At any rate, I doubt that there would be anything to prevent starting a club for Republicans at any MCPS school if one didn't exist already. The original poster is probably aware of that as well, but why miss an opportunity for self-pity?

The final thread at which I'll look today was posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum and titled, "Millennial men pitched themselves as equal partners. What happened?". The original poster explains that when she was younger, none of the men she knew were interested in a stay-at-home wife. They all pursued "high-powered" professional women and portrayed themselves as interested in equal relationships. But, now that she is married and has children, very few of the men she knows lived up to that promise and their wives have downshifted their careers while the men have lost all interest in sharing housework. The original poster asks why this is the case. A common explanation offered in various forms by those who responded was that the men meant what they said, but the reality of working a full time job while raising children and maintaining a house was more difficult than they expected. When push came to shove, the couples reverted to traditional roles. Some posters suggest that the wives may have preferred to take the lead role with regards to children and this might not be something to blame on the men. Other posters said that these men had not had equal parenting modelled for them and followed the footsteps of their fathers. However, some posters described different experiences than what the original poster discussed. On the one hand were posters to thought the original poster had an elite experience and that men outside her social circle were not as interested in equal parenting. On the other hand, were posters who said that they were in equal marriages and that their husbands did share an equal part of parenting and housework. As could be expected, this thread fairly quickly degnerated into a run-of-the-mill debate about the roles of men and women in a marriage with the usual complaints about men from women and vice versa. A common trope in this regard is that women don't communicate and, therefore, men don't know what is expected of them. In response, women resent that they have to communicate things that should be obvious. There is also advice offered to women whose husbands don't carry their share of the load about how to get them to do more. Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention my dislike of generational labels. The original poster mentions "millennials" in the title and "boomers" come in for quite a bit of criticism during the discussion. I don't think either label is particularly useful and I was happy to see at least one poster complain about making things "generational problems".