13

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans" and posted in the "Tweens and Teens" forum. The original poster says that her daughter just started as a freshman at a new private high school. The family is towards the lower end of the economic spectrum of the school's students, something that is apparent due to the family's older cars and the fact that both parents work. But what really appears to be bothering the original poster's daughter is her weight. Most of the girls in the school, according to the original poster, are uniformly thin and athletic. The original poster's daughter, on the other hand, has a body mass index of 25 and is not interested in sports. The original poster asks for advice about how to encourage her daughter to be more active and eat healthier. I am not sure what to make of this thread because almost immediately the original poster, without mentioning that she was the original poster, posted a message saying that the daughter shouldn't try to complete with the other girls. In another follow-up post, again without identifying herself, the original poster blamed weight gain on "endocrine disruptors" rather than over-eating. Even in posts in which she indicated that she was the original poster, the original poster didn't seen particularly receptive to advice. So this thread may have been a waste of everyone's time. The advice that was offered was mainly to convince her daughter to participate in at least one sport. Some posters suggested that if the girl didn't want to participate in school sports, she might pick up an activity after school such as dance. Other posters questioned whether this school is the right environment for the original poster's daughter. They suggested that the issue is not her daughter's weight, but how she fits in. The original poster had cited a number of issues that might cause fitting in to be difficult beyond weight. As a result, posters had advice concerning how to help her daughter fit in better. Others suggested changing schools. Some posters were suspicious of how the other girls were all remaining so thin, suggesting that it might be attributed to eating disorders, ADHD medicine, or controlling mothers. The topic of weight is always controversial on DCUM, especially when involving children and even more when involving girls. As such, posters had strong disagreements about what to do about the girl's weight. Some argued that she was not overweight and, therefore, this didn't need to be addressed. Others, as is common, attributed weight gain purely to eating and suggested that the original poster's daughter should simply eat less. Other posters had complex theories about diet and what should or shouldn't be eaten. Some posters strongly urged the original poster to do all that she can to avoid having her daughter becoming obsessed with her image, her size, or her eating. Instead they suggested keeping her busy with various activities and off the Internet.