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Monday's Most Active Threads
The topics with the most engagement yesterday included spouses who both have demanding jobs, Forbes' "New Ivies", the job market for recent graduates, and well-adjusted celebrities.
The two most active threads yesterday were the thread about college protests and the thread about paying off a spouses's student loans. I already discussed those threads in yesterday's blog post, so I'll skip them today. The next most active thread was titled, "Honestly, how do you manage dual income marriage with kids?" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster says that both she and her husband have "highly intellectual jobs" that don't pay all that well but are intellectually stimulating, have prestige, are fun, but also are stressful. They each make around $200k annually, which caused some posters to question the original poster's description of their jobs as not paying well. They have two kids and, despite "a lot of help around the house" are increasingly having relationship conflicts. As the original poster explains it, between their long hours and frequent travel which also requires time for recuperation, the original poster and her husband are struggling with family life. The original poster is particularly frustrated because she feels that she picks up most of the load around the house and her husband, rather than recognizing that she is tired and overworked, expects her to be the "sexy available girlfriend" when it is convenient for him. She asks how others have made this situation work. On the face of it, what the original poster is describing is a very common scenario — a struggle to balance work with parenting. It has been a decade since Sheryl Sandberg urged women to "lean in", yet as the original poster demonstrates, while women struggle to overcome barriers at work, they also encounter barriers at home. This topic has been covered a million times in the relationship forum and most of the advice offered is standard fare. Posters suggest hiring more help, attempting to better balance responsibilities with her husband, cutting back on travel, etc. Some of those responding argue that the original poster is simply expecting too much and that she should accept that she can't have it all. Almost immediately I started receiving reports suggesting that the original poster was a troll. Initially, I couldn't find any indication that this was the case and I was baffled by the suggestion because this is such a common scenario. But, after considerable digging, I discovered that the original poster was sock puppeting throughout the thread, often replying to herself in the third person. Later in the thread she introduced a new twist to her story and then immediately sock puppeted a response. Ironically, some of the original poster's sock puppeted responses contained pretty good advice. So one of the original poster's personas should just listen to what her other persona has to say. I also note the irony of someone with an intellectually-challenging and prestigious job who lacks time and energy for sex toiling away having a conversation with herself on DCUM.