07

As is usual now, the Gaza war thread continued to be the most active yesterday. But, with fewer tha 500 posts, activity was lower than it has been since the initial attack. The most active thread after that was titled, "Millennial women are saying no thanks to parenthood" and posted in the "General Parenting Discussion" forum. The original poster linked to a Washington Post article that analyzed data showing that while the number of families with one child has stayed stable since the 1980s, the number of childless women has increased markedly. Moreover, the increase has coincided almost completely with the progress of millennial women through childbearing years. Let me start with my obligatory disclaimer that I dislike generational labels. Even the Post article describes such categorizations as "squishy, man-made distinctions". Others, of course, embrace such labels. The original poster says that the Post's conclusions follow what she is seeing in her personal life and, with millennials hitting 40, she says the trend is unlikely to turn around. While I didn't read much of this 16 page thread, what I did read did not reveal many, if any, posters disagreeing that being child-free is a trend. Many of those responding cited personal examples of either themselves, relatives, or friends choosing not to have children. The reasons for millennials choosing not to have children varied. Several posters blamed the cost of childcare and the need to upscale housing. Others claimed that choosing not to have children was a rational reaction to the examples of older women who were expected to work full time and still be perfect moms. As one poster said, "Until men step up women are smart not to fall into the trap." Another reason that came up and which was also mentioned by the Post is that millennial women seem less likely to marry. Many threads in DCUM's relationship forum have revealed that as women have become better educated, received more challenging and fulfilling job opportunities, and earned higher incomes, they have become less dependent on a spouse and, therefore, more picky about marriage. Both in the experience of many of those responding and as described by the Post, unmarried women are less likely to have children. We have operated DCUM through most of the millennials' childbearing years. As such, I've probably read thousands of posts that touch on this topic. In my view, the explanation was captured best by a sentence attributed to "just about every source we consulted" that said, "Hammered by the Great Recession, soaring student debt, precarious gig employment, skyrocketing home prices and the covid-19 crisis, millennials probably faced more economic headwinds in their childbearing years than any other generation". Prior generations had a sort of pattern: graduate from college, get a job, get married, buy a house, adopt a pet (okay, some leave this out), have children. Lots of millennials have been stymied after the first step.