Tuesday's Most Active Threads

The two most active threads yesterday were ones that I've already discussed. The Gaza war thread and the thread about frustration with President Biden. The third most active thread was titled, "Safe schools for a Jewish kid." and posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. The original poster simply asked which schools in Virginia are safe for a Jewish girl. DCUM has seen a host of topics related to anti-Semitism and hostility towards Jews. Such threads have been included in my blog posts (one just yesterday). Still, it remains a difficult topic to discuss. The analytical side of me wants to evaluate threats against Jews and conduct a sort of risk analysis. But, the more emphatic side of me understands that there is an emotional component to questions such as the original poster's to which a non-Jew such as myself is unlikely to be able to relate. Therefore, I am simply not capable of judging threats in the same way a Jewish poster might. Many of those responding appear to lack such awareness. One of the first posters to respond argued that Jews are overrepresented on college campuses, as if numbers alone were enough to address threats. Another poster suggested that Jewish students face no more risk than a number of other minority students. That may well be true in normal times, but these are not normal times. As one poster points out, anti-Semitic as well as anti-Muslim (or anti-Arab) events are both increasing, but campuses remain relatively safe for both groups. A difference, however, is frequent large protests in support of Palestinians. Many of the Jewish students likely are concerned about the safety of Palestinian civilians and they may even oppose the large scale bombing of Gaza. But a noisy and angry demonstration by their classmates can be disconcerting, even if they sympathize with many of the goals of the protest. This can create a feeling of being unsafe regardless of the actual threat they may face (a threat that, frankly, is hard to judge). At any rate, I am fairly certain that few, if any, posters bothered to address the original poster's actual question about Virginia schools. Rather, the thread took off in a million different directions. There was considerable discussion about Cornell, both a professor who made a controversial statement and the wave of vile threats that culminated yesterday in the arrest of a student. Cornell, of course, is not located in Virginia. But that didn't slow down the discussion. Some parents said they would still consider Cornell to be safe for Jewish students because of the large percentage of Jews at the school and the attention to safety being paid by authorities. Despite the threats, this was preferable to being one of a handful of Jews at a school where their might not be much sympathy for their safety. Others argued that there really wasn't safety in numbers. One poster that I want to acknowledge described himself as a Pakistani Muslim. He agrees that it is currently not safe for either Muslims or Jews. But, he recognized that Muslims do not have a "millennia long history of pograms and fear" and don't have the same "historical trauma". At a time when many are eager to compete in the "oppression Olympics", it was refreshing to see the poster make this distinction. Update: After publishing this I returned to the thread and saw that a poster had followed up the post that I praised with an Islamophobic comment (which I removed). Even those who manage to look across the divide are far too often met with hostility.

The next most active thread was posted in the "General Parenting Discussion" forum. Titled, "Do you drink alcohol while ToTing with your kids?", I probably would have deleted this thread had I seen it earlier because the entire text of the post was nothing but a question mark. Apparently, consumption of alcohol by parents while trick-or-treating with their kids is very common in some neighborhoods. One poster described houses in her neighborhood having kegs ready to serve neighbors. The thread almost immediately deteriorated into arguments between drinkers and non-drinkers. Those who said they consumed alcohol during trick-or-treating tended to emphasize that it was just casual drinking with nobody over-indulging. Nevertheless, many of the non-drinkers accused anyone who admitted to even a sniff of a glass of wine of having been trashed. The drinkers were accused of not being able to parent their kids without the aid of alcohol. Many posters said their neighborhood had parties at which alcohol was available, thought they didn't necessarily trick-or-treat while drinking. With the increasing legality of marijuana, some parents fessed up to indulgences other than alcohol. Generally, there is not much to this thread unless you have strong feelings one way or another about drinking on Halloween,

Next was a thread titled, "Tips on dealing with employee who constantly has issues?" and posted in the "Jobs and Careers" forum. The original poster says that she has one employee that reports to her in a hybrid work environment. That employee "has a pattern of being sick, kids being sick, or car problems almost every time we have an in-office day." This is the first employee that the original poster has managed and wants to improve as a manager. Therefore, the original poster asks for advice about how to handle this situation. Several posters pointed out that illness or caring for ill children should require the employee to take leave. If the employee missed due to car problems, she should be required to substitute a work from home day for a day in the office to make up for the missed day. Other posters argued that the important point was whether or not the employee was getting her work done. If so, it shouldn't matter where it was being done. The divisive issue of this thread is whether the employee legitimately has the issues that are preventing her from coming into the office. The original poster doesn't know either way, but the implication is that that she doesn't believe the excuses. Several other posters have this same inclination and take fairly hard lines in order to prevent the employee from taking advantage of the original poster. Others, however, suspect the excuses could be legitimate and they argue for more sympathy, especially if the work is getting done. The thread eventually degenerated to a standard argument between supporters and opponents of working from home. I don't think the original poster even bothered posting again. The thread was just others having separate arguments.

The last thread at which I'll look today was posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. Titled, "Any parents out there who paid $200K+ for college, kid did great, and now can't find job?", the original poster says that her child graduated from a top 20 or 30 university with honors and the career center has been worthless. The original poster, in a subsequent post, reveals that her daughter's major was English and that her daughter is not willing to be underemployed. Later the original poster also says that her daughter currently does online tutoring and makes more money this way than many "full-time teachers or professors, reporters, CBS production assistants". However, the original poster doesn't consider tutoring to be a career and her daughter wants a "real job". The original poster has fairly specifically zeroed in on the crux of the issue here. A career as a teacher, professor, reporter, or network television production specialist generally requires climbing the career ladder from a lowly-paid starting position. Neither the original poster nor her daughter seem to be prepared to pay those dues but, rather, want to start somewhere near the top. This is not an atypical desire, but one that is rarely satisfied. Many of those responding make exactly this point. Some try to provide various ideas such as pursuing graduate school or teaching English abroad that might take the place of an entry-level job. Of course the DCUM college forum would not be itself if posters didn't show up to brag about how their kids were smart enough to pursue majors that led to well-paying jobs immediately upon graduation. The original poster didn't take those posts too harshly and, in response, argued that while she appreciates "tecchies", the world needs "fuzzies" as well. While many posters have good ideas for the original poster's daughter, none of them really pay more than her daughter's current tutoring.