Monday's Most Active Threads

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "Sanity Check - DH in Boxers" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum. The original poster asks how appropriate it is for a middle-aged man to do outside chores and short errands wearing boxer shorts with no other pants. The fact this thread reached 10 pages and leads all other topics in activity yesterday really makes me wonder whether life is so good for our users that this is the most troubling type of issue they face or life is so bad that they are forced to escape by reading the most mundane thread available. Either way, there is near universal agreement that boxers belong inside pants and are not outerwear. Some posters might allow boxers in the privacy of one's home and perhaps even outside in circumstances in which the wearer was not likely to be seen by others. But, for most, even that's not appropriate. A few posters argued that boxers have the same coverage as shorts and, therefore, they don't think there is much difference. But, the difference for most posters is the existence of a fly on boxers. While the ease of egress provided to the male genitalia by a fly may be a convenience in the bathroom, it provides obvious problems in the front yard, let alone the hardware store. I had thought that the original poster was talking about her husband but it turns out that the original poster is the boxer-wearer himself. He followed-up with several pro-boxers-as-outwear arguments and even proposed that this might be an "Italian thing". This suggestion was contested by a poster whose spouse is "100% Jersey Italian". The poster later clarified that his boxers have button flys which somewhat solves the "unexpected appearance" issue, but the poster also admits that he now realizes his attire might make the family's nanny uncomfortable. Several posters are concerned that poor bathroom hygiene could lead to unsanitary and visually unappealing leftovers on the underwear. They much preferred remaining ignorant about this rather than being forced to confront it when encountering the original poster and his boxers. One poster went as far to question the original poster's endowment based on her disbelief that any but the smallest examples could be constrained by mere boxers. The reaction to this by the original poster was such that I had to remove it.

The next most active thread yesterday was posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. Titled, "Why do college sports exist?", the original poster argues that only Divison 1 football and basketball make money and all other sports lose money. He suggests that sports are comparable to the "military industrial complex" and have institutional support because they create jobs. Many of those responding say that sports are popular with students, especially those that participate in them. Sports are also important for the environment of the school, providing entertainment and promoting school spirit. One posters argued that alumni who participated in sports are more likely to donate to the school. A number of posters discussed the link between athletics and admissions since playing a sport is often a "hook" for admissions. Some posters see this as a form of affirmative action for White students. One poster touches on a theme that I've mentioned several times. As this posters puts it, "It is a fairly recent view that I go to college and learn X and go get a job doing X right away". More and more posters seem to view colleges and universities as glorified vocational schools. But, instead of teaching you to be a welder, they are teaching you to be a financial analyst or a computer programer. But, as that poster explains, athletics "was a part of the education process." Students were expected to receive a well-rounded education that addressed both physical and intellectual development. Much of the thread is devoted to posters simply arguing about whether sports should be part of college or not and less about the reasons sports do exist in college. Posters debate opinions about specific sports with some getting more criticism than others. There is a big debate about the diversity of sports. It is generally accepted that football and basketball have significant numbers of Black players, but outside of those sports, several posters argued, college athletics is heavily White.

Next was a thread titled, "BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel" and posted in the "Family Relationships" forum. The original poster explains that her family will be hosting Thanksgiving this year. She has a brother-in-law who lives on the West Coast and is going through a divorce. One benefit of that is that he has been travelling with his children more often to visit extended family. He has decided to join the original poster's family for Thanksgiving, something about which the original poster is thrilled because her kids will have more time with their cousins. In addition, the original poster is expecting her mother and father-in-law and a cousin of her husband's and the cousin's fiancée. The original poster does not have enough room to house everyone and has asked her in-laws to stay in a hotel. The cousin and fiancée don't have much money for a hotel and the original poster wants the brother-in-law and his children — who are already spending a lot to travel — to spend as much time as possible with her family. But, the in-laws don't want to stay in a hotel, preferring to have everyone cram in to the original poster's home. The original poster and her husband are considering telling their in-laws to host Thanksgiving and having her family stay in a hotel. The obvious solution is for the original poster to pay for a hotel for the cousin and fiancée and several of those responding make this suggestion. Another option proposed by one poster in order to accomodate the in-laws was to give the kids's rooms to the adults and having all the kids "camp" in the living room. The original poster rejected this idea, however, because she had bad memories of being in such situations when she was growing up. A considerable number of posters supported taking a hard line with the in-laws and simply giving them a choice of either staying in a hotel or hosting Thanksgiving themselves. Others think that this amounts to disinviting the in-laws and consider it to be rude.

The final thread at which I'll look today was posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. Titled, "Husband is hesitant to have kids and I don't know what to do", the original poster explains that she and her husband are in their very early 30s and have been married for two years. Since they started dating 6 years ago, they always talked about having children in their 30s. Recently the original poster brought the topic up with her husband because she will soon be 32 and feels the time for children is right. However, her husband confided that he has several fears about having children. He likes their current life in DC and doesn't want to lose it. They don't have local family and don't want to move. He thinks having a baby in that environment would be very difficult. The original poster has always envisioned herself becoming a mother so this is devastating to her. She at first says that she can't and won't try to convince him because she believes that both parents should want children. But, later asks for advice about what to do and whether or not she should try to convince him. Several of those responding ask whether she discussed her own disappointment with her husband. While her understanding his fears is important, he should also know about and understand her concerns. A number of posters suggest giving him an ultimatum and telling him that she planned to have children and that he has led her to believe that he did too and that the marriage can't continue if he has mislead her. Quite a few posters describe themselves as childfree and suggest that the original poster give more thought to not having children. Others agree with the original poster's husband that raising children is difficult without local family or significant financial resources. Several posters suggested that men don't face a biological clock in the same way that the original poster might be and point out that he probably doesn't feel as much pressure as she probably does. One poster disclosed that her fiancé suggested similar doubts so she told him that she would have to end things. He changed his mind and subsequently has become a great dad.