Tuesday's Most Active Threads

The most active thread yesterday was the thread about the lastest indictment of former President Donald Trump. But, since I've already discussed that thread, I'll start with the next most active which was titled, "Is there any way to convince a young man to step it up because he will never do better?" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. There is an argument to be made that this thread would be more appropriate for the "Adult Children" forum, but I'll leave it where it is for now. The original poster says that her 25-year-old son has been dating his 25-year-old girlfriend for 5 years. The original poster likes everything about the woman and believes that her son would — in her words — "never do better". However, she describes her son as immature and failing to grow up. His girlfriend has confided in the original poster that she is losing patience with the situation and the original poster is concerned that the girlfriend will break up with her son and he will regret it for the rest of his life. To be sure, there are posters who sympathize with the original poster and urge her to have an open and honest talk with her son to make him understand what he risks losing. But, for the most part, those responding are not very supportive of the original poster. For some, this is just a matter of the son simply not being ready and, as such, he should not be pressured. Many of these posters argue that men can wait longer for marriage than women and 25 is too young. Others, are downright antagonistic towards the original poster, thinking she is way too involved in her son's affairs. Moreover, these posters suggest that the original parent has probably "over-parented" her son all along, leading to his current immaturity. These posters urge the original poster to butt out. Along these lines, several posters suggest that the original poster's son must be allowed to make his own mistakes and, hopefully, learn from them. In a follow-up post, the original poster emphasizes that marriage is not the only milestone for which her son is failing to prepare. She lists things like exploring career opportunities, regions to which to move, or buying a house in which he could take his girlfriend into consideration. She repeatedly comes back to her fear that her son will always regret losing this girlfriend. While some posters do think it is appropriate to have this fear, most of those responding aren't as sure that her son couldn't do better or don't think that really matters if he is not ready.

Next was the thread about "Rich Men North of Richmond" which I discussed yesterday. After that is a thread in the "Jobs and Careers" forum titled, "Married millennial women not adding husband’s name to their LinkedIn?". The original poster writes, much as in the thread's title, that she has noticed on LinkedIn that many young professional women have not taken their husband's names or use a hyphenated last name. She wonders if this is being done to make searches easier or if she is just old and out-of-touch. Many of those responding say that they use their husbands' names outside of work, but professionally they use their maiden names. For many this is because by the time they got married they were already established in their profession and didn't want to lose connections. Quite a few other posters said that they did not take their husbands' names, professionally or personally. Their reasons varied a great deal. There was a quite a bit of disagreement about the prevalence of women not taking their husband's names. One poster reported that in her child's 4th grade class only one mother has her husband's last name. Several posters found this surprising and one poster was downright outraged by the claim and didn't believe it. I was surprised by the heated response. Some posters thought there might be generational patterns with older women actually being more likely to keep their maiden names. But others attributed the practice to younger women. Much of the discussion went beyond what might normally be appropriate for the jobs forum. For instance, several posters seemed uncomfortable with the notion of a mom not having the same last name as her children and some posters said that they didn't take their husbands' names until they had kids. A number of posters suggested that name choices might indicate an individual's commitment to marriage and viewed a woman's choice to keep her name as an indication that she didn't expect the marriage to last. Other posters described coming from cultures in which women didn't take their husband's names and, therefore, it was normal for them to keep their maiden names. A considerable number of posters seemed unreasonably irritated by women keeping their maiden names. For some of then, this basically heralds the end of civilization. In their minds, a women who keeps her maiden name for professional reasons is also likely to postpone having children, will then require fertility treatments, and, if successful, will hire nannies to raise the children. This is almost enough to inspire me to write a modern version of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie". It will be called "If A Woman Keeps her Maiden Name".

The next most active thread was titled, "Israel-Palestine On Campus" and posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. The original poster says that her son is about to start college at George Washington University and has already encountered anti-Zionism such as descriptions of Israel as an "apartheid state" which is upsetting to her son. The original poster wants to know how her son can navigate this environment and be a "proud Zionist" on campus. I didn't know about this thread until now and I would have liked to have seen it earlier and have had a chance to read it more closely. Before reading beyond the first post, I already expected the thread to go sideways pretty quickly. The original poster is clearly equating "anti-Zionism" or being "anti-Israel" with "anti-Semitism". While there are those who make that argument, generally this contention is not accepted and criticism of the Israeli government is thought to be distinct from hatred of Jews. Then, I read the second post in the thread which described Zionism as being racist. Oddly, that post was also from the original poster. I could not identify any additional posts from that poster. So, it appears the original poster lit a fire, poured gasoline on it, and went away. As a result, I stopped reading the thread and locked it. I have no idea how the thread developed after the second post. I have a Masters Degree in Arab Studies and could regale all of you with my views on Israel and the Middle East, particularly where Lebanon is involved, but I'll do you the favor of abstaining.

The final thread at which I'll look was another one posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. This one was titled, "WVU cutting 32 majors, all foreign languages". The original poster quotes from an article that describes faculty cuts and majors that will be dropped by West Virginia University. I assumed that the poster would be lamenting the cuts but, to my surprise, he lauded them. Describing the majors which include all foreign languages, as "relatively useless graduate programs" at a "low-prestige institution", the original poster said the cuts should have been done even if the budget did not require it. The poster also added that he had the impression from DCUM that WVU had been becoming popular lately with DC-metro area students. I can speak somewhat personally about this because I have two kids in college, both of whom I encouraged to consider WVU. It has relatively good computer science programs, especially computer security, is a reasonable distance from home, relatively affordable, and seems like a nice environment for students. Luckily, I guess, both the kids ignored my advice. A number of posters agree that the cuts are understable based on the University's explanation that enrollment in those majors was declining. But many others were disappointed by the cuts which they feel bode ill for the future. One poster asked what I thought was a really good question. If graduate programs in math are cut, where will the school get teaching assistants for calculus classes? Several posters attribute enrollment declines at the university to shutdowns during COVID. But other posters reject that as an explanation and point out that flagship universities in neighboring states are all growing. There is particular criticism of WVU's plan to replace foreign language classes with an app. Several posters who have experience learning foreign languages have little regard for this proposal. Many of the posts are framed in the context of views of West Virginia itself. The state is seen by many posters as being behind in education on the whole and the suggestion that the state might have a prestigious university is ridiculed. I think there is some truth to the suggestion that WVU's fortunes rely on out-of-state students and I also believe that such students will be less interested in the university after these cuts. So the university could easitly enter a death spiral.