Tuesday's Most Active Threads

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "dominate spouse during game night if you're intellectually superior?". The thread was originally posted in the "Off-Topic" forum but I moved it to the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum where it is more appropriate. The original poster considers himself to be considerably more intelligent than his wife. For the past two months they have been playing a game that involves statistics and math principles. The original poster has been letting his wife win. However, the previous night he decided to play seriously and won all four games they played that evening. This upset his wife and she went to bed in a huff. He wants to know what other couples in which one member is "far more intellectually superior" do about games. One of the reasons that the original poster considers himself much more intelligent than his wife is that he has a graduate degree in engineering while his wife has a degree in political science. As could be expected, the original poster doesn't find a lot of sympathy from those who respond. Some posters focus on the competitive aspects of the question and suggest games that rely more on luck and chance which would probably be more fun for the couple. Others suggested choosing games that were more compatible with his wife's skills. Other posters responded about his attitude towards his wife which they found disappointing, arguing that he was contemptuous of her. Still others addressed the topic of intelligence and arguing that strength in some areas does not necessarily translate into overall intelligence. Moreover, several posters noted that while the original poster might have a high IQ, he was severally challenged when it comes to EQ, with many thinking that EQ was more important. I didn't read much of this thread so I am not sure about everything that was discussed. But one other thing that I did notice were a number of posters who are extremely proud of the Scrabble skills.

The next two most active threads were threads that I've already discussed. Moving past them brings me to a thread posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. Titled, "H claims that I abuse him emotionally, whereas I think it is the other way around", the original poster describes a difficult relationship with her husband. The original poster earns about $200,000 annually whereas her husband earns $600,000. They have a 10-year-old daughter and live in a nice house that they all love. However, her husband works 3 hours away and only comes home on weekends. During that time, he is tired and doesn't do much around the house. This means that the original poster has complete responsibility for household chores and childcare during the week and primary responsibility even on weekends. Her husband routinely belittles and insults her, even in front of her daughter. His main complaint seems to be that he thinks the original poster is emotionally abusing him and he retaliates by putting the original poster down and threatening to leave her. She is concerned that because of their daughter, they would still have to communicate even if they separated and she would still be subject to his abuse of her. Posters have quite a bit of advice but mostly they concentrate on a divorce and how she might address custody issues. Later in the thread the original poster says that she has contacted a divorce attorney so I guess she is moving in that direction. Quite a few posters say that the are in or have been in similar situations and offer whatever advice they are able, but mostly just express support and sympathy. Many posters, the original poster included, are very concerned about the example that is being set for their daughter and think that the original poster should act as much in the daughter's interests as in her own.

The next most active thread was titled, "Are the Northeast colleges not as popular in the DMV?" and posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. As an aside, I've decided that I don't like the abbreviation "DMV" and I refuse to use it myself. To me "DMV" has connotations of long waits in a crowded room only to be told that you failed to bring a copy of one obscure document or another. Certainly no place that I would want to live. The original poster has a child starting high school and is thinking about colleges. She has noticed that kids she knows have been going to Ivy League colleges, the University of Virginia, the University of Maryland, and other public universities. She has not noticed much interest in "Tufts, Swarthmore, Amherst, Colby, Fordham, Vassar" and similar northeast schools which were popular with kids where she and her husband grew up in the northeast. She wants to know if kids are simply not applying to such schools or are applying but not being accepted. As far as DCUM is concerned, I think this is very much a perception issue. Of course there is tremendous interest in the forum in Ivy League schools which includes a number of northeastern locations. Moreover, as one poster points out, "I feel like northeast LACs are all DCUM talks about…", referring to liberal arts colleges. But, another poster argues that southern schools are more popular at the moment. Many posters point out that the selective universities in the northeast are often very expensive and don't provide merit aid. Therefore, many families avoid them for financial reasons. Posters also note that the original poster said that she and her husband are both from the northeast and it is common for kids to go to colleges not too far from home. Therefore, it is natural that more people from the region in which she grew up would go to schools in that region. This thread diverges into a number of arguments such as liberal arts schools vs STEM-oriented universities and southern schools vs those in the North. One argument, supported with data, is that northeastern schools are very popular but southern colleges are gaining popularity due to students being shutout of the universities in the northeast.

The final thread at which I'll look today is another one from the "College and University Discussion" forum. Kind of ironic given the previous thread, but the title is, "realistically, is it even worth applying to the Ivies". The original poster provides very little information but simply states that she is concerned about her child using their Early Decision application opportunity on an Ivy League university for which her child has no chance of being accepted. For those not yet indoctrinated into the machinations of college applications, early decision or ED is an opportunity for students to apply early to their preferred university. Applicants may only apply to one college for ED and are committed to going to that school if they are accepted. Therefore, this should not be a "reach" school because that would most likely just waste the opportunity. Similarly, it should not be a "safety" school. Admissions officers can be confident that those applying for ED are not simply taking a flyer and are nearly guaranteed to enroll if they are accepted. Because the original poster provided no information about her child, it is impossible for posters to evaluate whether the child has the qualifications to make ED worthwhile. The default answer therefore, is "no". Even when the original poster provided an update with information about the child's statistics, posters were not very enthusiastic about ED being worthwhile. Many posters were put off by the entire ED phenomenon. Even for top students, admissions at elite schools is so competitive that that they have little chance of being accepted. They consider it better to apply to Ivys during other rounds, but that means not applying ED anywhere to avoid being locked into another college. The thread then turned to a discussion of non-Ivy schools that posters believe to actually be better choices and lists of schools that are better targets for ED.