Monday's Most Active Threads

Yesterday's most active thread was titled, "Asian American student with 1590 SAT score blames affirmative action for rejections from 6 colleges" and posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. The original post consists entirely of a quote from an article about an Asian American college applicant who was turned down by six top colleges despite outstanding test scores and grade point average. The student blames affirmative action for these results and has joined in two lawsuits that are trying to end affirmative action. The original poster did not include any of his own thoughts, but they were apparently not needed to provoke discussion on this topic. The topics of affirmative action, discrimination against Asian Americans in college admissions, and the court cases have all been well-covered in our college forum. The court cases, which are currently before the Supreme Court, could literally be decided any day now. A significant number of posters believe the decisions will be favorable to Asian Americans and are looking forward to such an outcome with high expectations. Other posters appear to be getting frustrated with the entire subject and this student's plight was not met with as much sympathy as it might once have been. As posters were quick to point out, two of the schools are "test blind" and, therefore, his test scores wouldn't have been a factor. In addition, while the University of California, Berkeley was one of the colleges that rejected him, California has banned affirmative action in college admissions. The student alleges that he would have had a significantly higher chance of being accepted if he were Black rather than Asian. But, the lawsuit against Harvard alleges discrimination against Asian Americans in favor of White applicants. As such, many of those responding view the student's joining the legal action as performative without a lot of legal justification. Those responding are able to point to multiple factors that they believe make college admissions inherently unfair and don't seem to accept that the process is any more unfair for this student or Asian Americans in general. Despite this student's outstanding stats, many posters are not impressed and claim that such test scores and GPAs are not uncommon. For the most part, this thread simply rehashes the same old arguments about affirmative action and other factors that impact college admissions. There is debate about the value of test scores and GPA versus less objective factors that might indicate an ability to succeed. Everyone seems to agree that the admissions process is unfair, but they all also think it is biased against them. So, they disagree on the nature of the unfairness.

The next most active thread was posted in the "General Parenting Discussion" forum. Titled, "Will they talk about Covid shut down like the Great Depression", the original poster says that the shutdown due to the COVID pandemic was one of the hardest periods of her life. She had three young children, including a new born, and because her husband returned to work fairly quickly, she was left on her own. She was also working fulltime. COVID has been subject to extensive discussion on our website and I am doubtful that anything new can be said on the topic. The impact of the shutdown, especially school closures, has clearly been traumatizing for some and, therefore, it is not surprising that some would see it as comparable to the Great Depression. However, based on what I've observed in the forums, the negative impact of the shutdown fell most heavily on those with young children. Whereas it may have been inconvenient or unwelcome for those with older children or the childless, it was not as distressing. Some posters even say that they enjoyed the period. Most of those responding believe that the pandemic will be covered in history books in a manner similar to other major pandemics. However, most don't believe that there will be any particular attention paid to how it affected working mothers. Very few believe the pandemic is comparable to the Great Depression. It seems undeniable that working mothers with young children who had to balance working from home, closed daycares and schools, online learning, and other pandemic challenges such as the fear of getting ill, had a particularly difficult time of it. Many have not gotten over the stress this caused them and are angry that their struggles are not appreciated. To some, this is an indication of the inherent misogyny in our society. One irony is that those working mothers who continue to be angry about shutdowns often focus their rage on teachers, many of whom were also working mothers who suffered much the same fate during the pandemic. The general parenting forum was probably not the best choice for this thread and the posts eventually started veering off into several different directions that went well beyond the original intent of the thread. It essentially become little more than a gripefest as posters took the opportunity to reiterate their pandemic-related grievances. As a result, I eventually locked the thread.

The third most active thread yesterday was titled, "Trying to get over husband’s affair". Posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)", the original poster explains that six weeks ago she discovered that her husband had been having an affair for six months. Since that time, they have been in both individual and couples therapy and are trying to stay together. But, the original poster is having a difficult time. Her husband not only lied to her and betrayed her, but she discovered texts in which he said terrible things about her to the other woman. Her husband now claims that he was lying in order to convince the other woman to engage in the affair, but the original poster can't get over the things he said. The relationship forum is full of posters who are, to put it mildly, skeptical of men. Many have been through marriages with cheating husbands. Therefore, it would not be wise to expect the original poster to receive a lot of encouragement to stay together. Surprisingly though, there are no explicit suggestions that she divorce him until the third page of the thread. Instead, several posters offer sympathy and stress that six weeks is not enough time to get over such things. Some posters offer cautionary tales based on their own experiences. Posters pose a lot of questions to which the original poster dutifully responds. When I refer to DCUM as a form of therapy, this is one type of thread that I have in mind. The original poster is clearly using the responses to help work through the issues she is facing. There is nothing wrong with that obviously, but I sometimes question where posters are offering the best advice. One issue upon which many of those responding fixate is the a disclosure by the original poster that she and her husband are still engaging in intimate relations. Many posters are aghast at this and question it. The original poster, with some support from other posters, explains it as a normal and not unusual response to an affair. One difference of opinion is about whether staying together is a sign of weakness on the original poster's part. The view that the original poster's self-respect demands that she leave her husband drives much of encouragement to divorce. Another poster, however, makes a strong argument that self-respect does not hinge and that decision. Rather, the poster suggests that self-confidence means knowing that another person's flaws are their flaws, not the original poster's flaws. Every marriage requires overlooking flaws and each individual most decide whether those flaws are acceptable. The original poster has decided that cheating is not an acceptable flaw, but is giving her husband a chance to change. That is not a sign of a lack of self confidence, but simply an indication that she thinks he might change. Nobody knows at this point whether she is correct or not and, therefore, nobody knows what is the best decision.

The last thread at which I'll look today was posted in the "Metropolitan DC Local Politics" forum. Titled, "Kristin Mink", the thread is about the progressive member of the Montgomery County Council. Mink has become a lightening rod for criticism with posters turning her into a caricature of the stereotypical progressive who they believe places virtue singling over common sense. This thread was started back in February by a poster who believed that Mink had acted hypocritically after having a flat tire and contacting a Montgomery County Police Department commander to ask for assistance. Mink said that she had just left a meeting with the commander but recognized that she should have called the non-emergency number instead. Yesterday, this thread found revived interest due to remarks Mink offered during a hearing in which Muslim families testified in favor of the right to opt-out of books on LGBTQIA+ themes. A Muslim organization recently participated in a protest regarding this issue that was organized by the right-wing organization, Moms for Liberty. During the hearing, Mink said, "This issue has unfortunately … put some — not all, of course — some Muslim families on the same side of an issue as white supremacists and outright bigots. However, the folks who have talked here today, I would not put in the same category as those folks although, you know, it’s complicated, because they’re falling on the same side of this particular issue." While criticism of Mink has not always been completely divorced from reality, her detractors have never shown a commitment to accuracy or much regard for the truth. This episode was a case in point. Critics quickly portrayed this as Mink calling Muslims "white supremacists". When Mink issued an apology, detractors didn't see that as ameliorating the situation, but as confirmation that she had transgressed. It was proof of her guilt. Posters who are familiar with my posts on DCUM will know that I have always strongly defended Muslims and received considerable criticism in response. But, in this case, I think that it is completely legitimate to suggest to those protesting that they consider their bedfellows. Those Muslims who are protesting should worry that they are being exploited by those who any other day of the week would be strongly opposed to their interests. Former President Donald Trump and company suddenly became vocal supporters of the gay community in the wake of the Pulse Nightclub massacre committed by a Muslim because it was politically expedient to be anti-Muslim at the time. The same political forces have no compunction to flipping 180 degrees and defending Muslims against the gay and transgender communities now that the political calculus has changed. Their values didn't change, however, and when the Muslim community is no longer useful to the right-wing cause, Muslims will no longer find such support.