Monday's Most Active Threads

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "Annoyed that ILs are unhelpful to us when we visit them, but expect us to do a ton as 'good guests'" and posted in the "Family Relationships" forum. The original poster explains that she, her husband, and three young kids are visiting her in-laws and her in-laws don't do anything to help with the kids. The original poster says that she feels like a nanny as she tries to keep the kids occupied and entertained while her husband sits with his parents talking about politics or theater. Moreover, the original poster and her husband are expected to wash dishes after meals and strip the bed linens when they leave. I get that posters frequently use DCUM to vent and aren't really expecting much in the way of advice or helpful feedback. But really? Complaining about stripping bed linens? DCUM is traditionally hostile to threads perceived as whiny and this thread seems especially whiny. So, having read the first post of the thread and seeing that the thread is 11 pages long, my expectation is that the thread likely consists entirely of posters lambasting the original poster. However, because I don't feel like readling that many pages of such posts, I'm not going to check to see whether my expectation is correct. Reading the first page of replies suggests that the one thing that I overlooked is that those responding would be even more critical of her husband than they are of the original poster (though that is often cloaked of criticism of her as well). I don't see anyone offering the original poster much sympathy.

The second most active thread yesterday was posted in the "Religion" forum and titled, "Antisemitism and the NYT crossword". The original poster embedded an image of the New York Times crossword puzzle with squares colored in in such a way that it looked like a swastika. The original poster asks, "what is going on in our country?" This thread was really driven by the original poster who posted somewhat obsessively throughout the thread. I count at least 27 posts from the original poster and another nine from a poster sharing similar views. Someone appears to have linked to the thread from Facebook and, hence, the thread received a lot of traffic originating from there. Similarly, a lot of posters seem to have found the thread as a result of Google searches. As a result, the posters in this thread are not necessarily typical of those who normally post in the Religion forum. The thread mostly consists of the original poster and those with similar views finding increasingly tenuous clues that the crossword puzzle in question was is full of anti-Semitism. One of the clues cited by the original poster was "references to Islam", something that was questioned by several posters who did not view such a thing as anti-Semitic. In fact, it suggests some amount of intolerance on the part of the original poster. Many of those responding compared the original poster's evolving claims to the QAnon conspiracy theory. Quite a few of those responsding, several of whom identified themselves as Jewish, rejected the suggestion that the crossword puzzle was anti-Semitic, though a few conceded that it could have inadvertently portrayed a swastika. There seemed to be general agreement in the thread that anti-Semitism is a serious problem and one that may well be increasing in the US. However, there was considerable differences of opinion as to whether this crossword puzzle represented one such example.

Another thread from the "Family Relationships" forum was among the most active yesterday. This one, titled "This is the first year in 13 years that I have completely dropped the rope with DH’s family" also involved in-laws. This, of course, is a common theme. The original poster says that last Spring there was some sort of blowup involving her and her in-laws so she told her husband that he would have to arrange any holiday traditions with his parents this year. As is expected of husbands by DCUM posters, he completely dropped the ball. But, far from being upset, the original poster is happier than she has been in years and plans to advise her daughter to follow this example. The replies are full of compliments and congratulations for the original poster with almost everyone approving of this behavior. There is a slight diversion into issues that one poster is having with a nephew whose wife has apparently followed a similar strategy to that of the original poster. But, posters were quick to insist that this was the fault of the nephew, not his wife. I really have no idea what could cause this thread to extend to eleven pages and couldn't force myself to read beyond the third page. I can't believe that the complimentary posts continued for that long so I assume that those responding found something about which to argue.

The final thread at which I'll look was titled, "Extracurriculars you regret supporting" and posted in the "Tweens and Teens" forum. As the title says, the original poster is interested in which activities parents wish they had avoided for their children. All kinds of activities were listed but two that stood out were gymnastics and competitive dance, both of which many of those responding said that they regretted. One common theme that I noticed is that many parents regretted involving their children activities in which the kids ultimately didn't excel. These parents didn't seem to value having fun, socializing, or learning new skills, but only the competitive aspects of activities. Another frequently cited reason for regret was that some activities reached a level at which the only opportunities were very expensive or time-consuming. In this case, the attitudes of posters were almost the opposite of those focused on success. These posters would have welcomed opportunities for their kids to simply have fun and make friends, but didn't want to make the commitment required to continue at upper levels. I had to laugh when one poster happily pointed out that there were no complaints about club swimming and another replied that parents of serious swimmers were too sleep deprived to post on DCUM.