10

It all sounded so wholesome and Walton-esque at the time: Our family was not going to succumb to the lure of the built-in DVD player in our minivan. Instead of staring slack-jawed at Sponge Bob, our kids would talk to us for hours as we merrily traversed to our summer vacation destinations (their little jaws get ample resting time at home anyway). Perhaps we’d even break into spontaneous song as we created warm, fuzzy family memories. As we drove away from the Honda dealership in our new, DVD-less minivan, we felt proud, and almost Amish.

Then came the time for us to actually take a family vacation. Correction—not vacation. Vacations conjure notions of lazy afternoons spent napping, evenings sipping piña coladas and competing in limbo contests, and mornings that don’t begin until noon. Our first big family retreat was to Sesame Place in Pennsylvania, a 2 1/2-hour drive from Bethesda if you take the scenic, endlessly stretching, gray highway route. I can honestly report that Sponge Bob’s presence wasn’t missed in the slightest for the first 90 seconds.