'Tis the Season

I'd like to address an issue that was raised last month on the DC Urban Moms forums.  It began with a poster who was upset that her Jewish inlaws would not acknowledge Christmas or answer their grandson's questions about the holiday despite the fact that the poster and her husband had decided to raise their son in the Catholic faith.

As someone who was raised as a relatively religious Jew, my initial instinct was to side with the inlaws.  I posted a response saying that while I was not trying to condone hurtful behavior by the grandparents, some people (like me) feel very left out during the holiday season.  The ensuing dialogue on the forum  made me think more about my feelings on this issue, and led to a conversation with my husband about how to deal with the holidays when our newborn son becomes old enough to know what's going on.

It's not that I begrudge anyone their celebration of a holiday – what bothers me is when people assume that everyone celebrates Christmas.  (For the record, this happens a lot less often than it used to, and I personally don't mind when people say "Merry Christmas" to me -- I just respond with "Happy Holidays" and leave it at that.)  What also irks me during this time of year is the barrage of Christmas ads on TV and songs on the radio. It seems there's no escape.

Perhaps it's the commercialism of the holiday season that's getting to me, but I also can't escape memories of feeling "different" growing up.  In school, I was in the band (band geeks unite!), and I remember for "holiday" concerts we would play multiple Christmas songs and one token Hanukkah song.  Putting aside the fact that we didn't even think about people who don't celebrate either holiday, the tokenism came through loud and clear, even to a little kid playing her squeaky clarinet.

In some ways, feeling "different" can be a good thing -- I really think it's made me more empathetic towards others and affected many of my choices in life, from the work that I do to the people with whom I surround myself.  But deep inside, there's still that little girl who, on Christmas Day, felt jealous of all the kids who were getting all those cool presents and sharing that cozy quality time with their families, while my family tried to find an open Chinese restaurant or went to the movies, just waiting for the day to pass.

At the risk of the conversation devolving under Godwin's law, I would really like to hear other people's thoughts on this issue.  And if I forget to say it, Happy Holidays to you and yours.