Anonymous wrote:

I left this thread for two days and am totally lost.

I'm a nanny, I thought we were all more or less in agreement that telling them at the end of a positive interview, where it looks likely an offer will be made, was the right thing to do? It's what I've always done, never hurt my offers - as a nanny or at any former jobs.

We are in agreement as you point out, and no one here has said they have a double standard for their nanny.

There is one oddly paranoid troll here who seems to think that by waiting to inform a potential employer about a planned trip, and risking losing the offer, is somehow going to result in higher wages for nannies because of some imagined idea that waiting until the offer is "knowing how to interview" or playing "to win". Why she thinks that MBs would automatically act as she assumes is a mystery. There is no logic to her position at all. Yet, she keeps repeating it, like repetition will make her sound sensible or correct.

So, I'm figuring she's a troll, or just really ignorant. I hope OP does the right thing, inform them during the interview, and enjoys her family vacation knowing she has a job when she returns.

How many posters in the jobs thread recommended telling a potential employer during the interview before there's a job offer? You seem not to have even read it, or you're in complete denial of the overall advice. Mind you, there was no mention of any particular job or field.

I left this thread for two days and am totally lost.

I'm a nanny, I thought we were all more or less in agreement that telling them at the end of a positive interview, where it looks likely an offer will be made, was the right thing to do? It's what I've always done, never hurt my offers - as a nanny or at any former jobs.

We are in agreement as you point out, and no one here has said they have a double standard for their nanny.

There is one oddly paranoid troll here who seems to think that by waiting to inform a potential employer about a planned trip, and risking losing the offer, is somehow going to result in higher wages for nannies because of some imagined idea that waiting until the offer is "knowing how to interview" or playing "to win". Why she thinks that MBs would automatically act as she assumes is a mystery. There is no logic to her position at all. Yet, she keeps repeating it, like repetition will make her sound sensible or correct.

So, I'm figuring she's a troll, or just really ignorant. I hope OP does the right thing, inform them during the interview, and enjoys her family vacation knowing she has a job when she returns.

Anonymous wrote:I left this thread for two days and am totally lost.

I'm a nanny, I thought we were all more or less in agreement that telling them at the end of a positive interview, where it looks likely an offer will be made, was the right thing to do? It's what I've always done, never hurt my offers - as a nanny or at any former jobs.

It may very well be the "right" thing to do, but for some very interesting reasons, it's not what most of your employers would do in similar circumstances. And look at what they're earning, compared to what you're earning. Part of that is because they know how to interview, and you don't. Different priorities, imo.
They play to win and you play to have a nice job and living wages, if you're doing "well". Most nannies can't support themselves on what they get paid. Even though your employers can't do their jobs without childcare (of some sort).

I left this thread for two days and am totally lost.

I'm a nanny, I thought we were all more or less in agreement that telling them at the end of a positive interview, where it looks likely an offer will be made, was the right thing to do? It's what I've always done, never hurt my offers - as a nanny or at any former jobs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no double standard, 15:40. Everyone here has been pretty consistent in their advice. You'd probably be a lot happier if you didn't look for trouble with there is none.

You're right. Its simply not possible, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that some of you have a pretty nasty double standard against nannies and your expectations of them.

Exactly. The nanny has to be ten times better than they could ever be.

Anonymous wrote:There is no double standard, 15:40. Everyone here has been pretty consistent in their advice. You'd probably be a lot happier if you didn't look for trouble with there is none.

You're right. Its simply not possible, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that some of you have a pretty nasty double standard against nannies and your expectations of them.

There is no double standard, 15:40. Everyone here has been pretty consistent in their advice. You'd probably be a lot happier if you didn't look for trouble with there is none.

There's nothing dishonest about waiting for an offer to tell. What would be honest is accepting the offer without telling. Come off it ladies. The double standard is ridiculous.

I would tell them at the interview. Because otherwise you would look dishonest and like you had purposely hid it from them. Even if theyre fine with the vacation, they are unlikely to be as fine with dishonesty

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Look in the jobs and careers section to see how it works. "Full disclosure" thread. Very interesting.


I'm pretty sure that post is the same OP of this post...

Link?


OP here again. I found it: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/364339.page

The differences in the answers are very interesting to say the least!

Thank you for the link. It's vitally important to look at.

No, that thread isn't vitally important to look at. It's not informative and doesn't say anything about nannies. It could be about another job entirely, so the answers are not at all helpful.

Don't be foolish, OP if you really want this job. If you do, tell them in the interview and don't run the risk of an offer being rescinded because the family didn't think you were being honest with them. So far, the majority of posters said if they knew ahead of time, they would still hire you and have no problem with your trip. Your request is not some huge thing that you have to play hard like the "rich" MBs do. It's a pretty common thing to have situations that need adjusting in new jobs. Sometimes, it's start dates. Sometimes family weddings or pre made plans. Just talk to the family about it. If they like you, this won't stop them from hiring you. If you wait too long to tell them, though, that sends a red flag that might stop them from hiring you. Don't let that happen.

OP - I actually think it's fine to tell either during the interview if it comes up (when can you start/we need someone right away/etc.) or after the offer. The only thing I would caution is that with any job, it is the employer's prerogative to say no. Given that you would likely have to decline a job that said no, I would tell before the family goes through the trouble and expense of calling your references and doing a background check. You'll annoy both them and your references if they do all that only to have you present a condition that would effectively require them to rescind the offer.

I do think that nanny jobs are a little different in that if the family loves you and can make it work, it's not going to hurt your chances and if they love you but can't make it work, they are going to say no no matter when you tell them and you are going to have to decline the offer anyway. We would have had to pass on a nanny with that stipulation no matter how much we liked her before or after the offer. Our back up child care is 10 days of drop in day care through my job (enough to cover five vacation days of the nanny's choice plus three sick days and two extra emergency days but definitely not enough for two unpaid weeks plus that). No way I would have used them up right away without knowing if the nanny was going to work out/take a ton of sick time/leave us after a month and require us to go through the nanny search again/etc. The other difference is that nanny employers may still use you for babysitting or mention you to friends and neighbors who are looking for a nanny, but they are more likely to do so if they feel like you are upfront and honest (again, doesn't have to be before the offer, but I'd be annoyed if I paid for a background check and called references and then had a nanny decline an offer on a condition that would have deterred me from giving the offer in the first place).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look in the jobs and careers section to see how it works. "Full disclosure" thread. Very interesting.

I'm pretty sure that post is the same OP of this post...

Link?

OP here again. I found it: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/364339.page

The differences in the answers are very interesting to say the least!

Thank you for the link. It's vitally important to look at.

Being a doormat is the easy route. Standing up and being smart is hard for most nannies.

Learn a little something from the financially successful parents you are helping.

OP here. You guys are making this hard. I'm sort of torn now!

You simply tell them AFTER they make an offer. Period.