Anonymous wrote:The fact that this is a confirmed, long term, troll is totally awesome. I love those of you who sniffed her out in her multiple threads!!!

me too!

Anonymous wrote:I can see both sides of the coin here.

I know you are hugely disappointed w/the parents, who wouldn't be? I mean, they could have given you a "heads-up" that they were looking into other childcare options so you would be able to make future plans on finding a new position. It was totally inconsiderate & unethical for them to just spring this on you right out of left field.

However, they are not obligated to give you any form of notice, even though it would have been the right thing to do in this situation. As long as they offered two weeks of notice, this is sufficient in the big scheme of things.

I totally get how invested you were in this position, specifically the young boy involved. I really do. To many nannies, we grow to love our charges as much as we could love any other child.

For the child's sake, I wouldn't have left him so abruptly. I wish you had put aside your pride & stayed until he went into daycare. Then perhaps you could have baby-sat him when the daycare was closed or on date nights. For you to just walk out on him like that, that isn't going to be easy for him.

Again, it wasn't good for the parents to not let on earlier what they were going to do. I fully understand your feelings about that, I would feel exactly the same.

But if you TRULY care for your charge the way you described, you have to know that fundamentally it was wrong to just leave him for good due to his parent's actions.

After all, the children are the most important component in a Nanny/Parent/Child daycare relationship.

You really should write HIPPO when you don't read much of the thread ... they gave her 5 weeks of notice.

The fact that this is a confirmed, long term, troll is totally awesome. I love those of you who sniffed her out in her multiple threads!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeff has confirmed that OP is frequent troll.

Where?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/505186.page

Anonymous wrote:I can see both sides of the coin here.

I know you are hugely disappointed w/the parents, who wouldn't be? I mean, they could have given you a "heads-up" that they were looking into other childcare options so you would be able to make future plans on finding a new position. It was totally inconsiderate & unethical for them to just spring this on you right out of left field.

However, they are not obligated to give you any form of notice, even though it would have been the right thing to do in this situation. As long as they offered two weeks of notice, this is sufficient in the big scheme of things.

I totally get how invested you were in this position, specifically the young boy involved. I really do. To many nannies, we grow to love our charges as much as we could love any other child.

For the child's sake, I wouldn't have left him so abruptly. I wish you had put aside your pride & stayed until he went into daycare. Then perhaps you could have baby-sat him when the daycare was closed or on date nights. For you to just walk out on him like that, that isn't going to be easy for him.

Again, it wasn't good for the parents to not let on earlier what they were going to do. I fully understand your feelings about that, I would feel exactly the same.

But if you TRULY care for your charge the way you described, you have to know that fundamentally it was wrong to just leave him for good due to his parent's actions.

After all, the children are the most important component in a Nanny/Parent/Child daycare relationship.

The parents gave her MORE THAN A MONTH notice.

They are not in the wrong.

Anonymous wrote:I am been the nanny for a wonderful little boy for the last two years, since his birth. I have been a truly great nanny (even if you don't believe me, please accept this as true for argument sake). Beyond just being a great nanny, I have a bond with my charge and I love him more than I ever thought possible to love a child not my own. And I have sacrificed to stay this child's nanny - passing up far more lucrative positions and even taking a second weekend job just to stay his nanny.

Just a few minutes ago, the parents told me they are putting him in daycare. THis has been in the works - the preparation for daycare for awhile. When they told me, I was stunned. They both said that I was fantastic and that their child would not be the great and smart kid he is had it not been for me.

I lost it. First, all day daycare is a huge mistake for this particular boy at this time in his life. Second, because they just sprung it on me.

I don't know what to do now. I said my peace and told them my truth - that I have never been more disappointed in two people in my entire life. I walked in and kissed my beautiful charge and told him that I loved him. I asked them to send my last paycheck and walked out. Clearly, the parents did not expect me to be done that moment and they have no care for their son until daycare starts. But I don't know what to do.

I cannot see spending the next two weeks (or however long they had in mind) crying every time I look at him. How would I go around to our usual story times, music class, parent & me, etc when everyone knows us and explain that I will no longer be this fantastic and polite little boy's nanny anymore...

What is the right thing to do? I honestly don't know. THis is my first longterm nanny job (although I have been a preschool teacher for twenty years so I am obviously not a kid).

I am sick about this. Please - someone - tell me what to do. I know I got too attached. I know I sacrificed far too much to stay his nanny - but I thought I was appreciated.

BTW, they are only putting him in daycare to save money.

Pay atetion ,when you you start for new replacement,please ,pleas make sure how long they need you and ask them if they have plan to put the baby in daycare after a year ,and try to get a job with rich people ,because they never want his kids in they care because the status they having,daycare is most for modium classe,rich people don't like daycare.,Working for poor is very stressful,no way.
Good luck,and don't cry.

Anonymous wrote:I am so, so sorry, OP. So sorry. Take a breath - it just happened and you are stunned.


Let this be a lesson to other nannies. NEVER get too close, never think of your charge/job above yourself, and never make sacrificed for your employers. Never. ANY MB/DB can spring this on you out of the blue and BAM - you are out of the child'd life forever.

I agree with you,never ,never...

Anonymous wrote:Jeff has confirmed that OP is frequent troll.

Where?

Jeff has confirmed that OP is frequent troll.

OP, you are acting like a giant baby about this. I was with my last family for just shy of three years, from when their child was 2 months old until his third birthday. My MB told me about two months before his third birthday that they were planning to enroll him in preschool in September (at that point, 9 months away). Then, six weeks after telling me that, just a couple weeks shy of his third birthday, she told me that a spot opened up in their chosen preschool, and they were giving me three weeks notice, effective that day (this was in January, more than 7 months earlier than I was told the transition would happen).

My story is very similar to yours, but with some key differences, like the fact that I was with him for a full 12 months longer than you were with your charge, and the fact that you were given five weeks notice, whereas I was given only three. And, perhaps most important of all, instead of overreacting, and resorting to childishly berating the parents, and deluding myself into thinking I know what is best for someone else's family's situation, I accepted it graciously, worked my last three weeks, and moved on like an adult.

My charge wasn't quite ready for full time preschool, and I knew it (he has some behavior issues). I still do date night babysitting for that family, and the first few times I saw them after DS began preschool, my former MB told me all about the issues he was having adjusting to preschool (including many concerns from teachers about his behavior). I still see that family regularly, but I've heard less about preschool in particular, and I suspect this might be in part because former MB realizes that that wasn't the right time to transition him (and also maybe that I was right about her son having behavior issues, which she didn't want to admit to herself).

I suppose in some ways, I'm being a bit judgmental about the choices they made, in saying that DS wasn't ready for preschool, etc, but ultimately I accepted their decision with grace because it is THEIR decision to make, not mine. Like all intelligent adults, I prepare myself for the future, and when it comes to being a nanny, part of that is knowing and reminding yourself of the fact that your position, no matter how great a fit you are for the family, WILL END WITHIN A COUPLE OF YEARS. Sure, some families keep having kids, and keep nanny around to care for the youngest, but many families these days are "one and done." And most families do enroll their children in preschool between the ages of 2 and 4.

I get that you feel blindsided; I felt that way, too. But you were given FIVE WEEKS notice, which is really A LOT in this industry! My advice:

1. As others have said, take some time to determine whether being a nanny really is the right career for you. Your rash behavior and strong attachment after only two years makes me suspect that going back to being a preschool teacher might be a better fit for you.

2. Consider therapy.

I can see both sides of the coin here.

I know you are hugely disappointed w/the parents, who wouldn't be? I mean, they could have given you a "heads-up" that they were looking into other childcare options so you would be able to make future plans on finding a new position. It was totally inconsiderate & unethical for them to just spring this on you right out of left field.

However, they are not obligated to give you any form of notice, even though it would have been the right thing to do in this situation. As long as they offered two weeks of notice, this is sufficient in the big scheme of things.

I totally get how invested you were in this position, specifically the young boy involved. I really do. To many nannies, we grow to love our charges as much as we could love any other child.

For the child's sake, I wouldn't have left him so abruptly. I wish you had put aside your pride & stayed until he went into daycare. Then perhaps you could have baby-sat him when the daycare was closed or on date nights. For you to just walk out on him like that, that isn't going to be easy for him.

Again, it wasn't good for the parents to not let on earlier what they were going to do. I fully understand your feelings about that, I would feel exactly the same.

But if you TRULY care for your charge the way you described, you have to know that fundamentally it was wrong to just leave him for good due to his parent's actions.

After all, the children are the most important component in a Nanny/Parent/Child daycare relationship.

You're kind of a psycho.....like the the kind to kidnap your charge and run to a foreign country.....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe MB is 12 weeks along with a second child.

Maybe they were hoping to put off daycare a little longer, but know they can't afford a nanny for two small children.

Excellent daycares are difficult to get into, and it's much easier to get a sibling in than snag an open spot as a FTP. It would make sense, then, they'd take the opportunity of this spot opening up so they can have quality, secured childcare for both their children.

There are just so many possibilities here, I absolutely do not believe previous outraged posters are MBs. Let's all assume every mom we know is doing the best she can for her family.

Was my theory too reasonable to be skewered by the fake MBs? I feel so left out.

Hmmm, well if you know of a great daycare that gives the same or better quality of care to two children than a nanny does to her sole charges, go for it. Personally, I usually work with 2+ kids because parents find that it's cheaper that way...

I didn't say they give better care, although I do believe there are pros and cons to both. But with a newborn and an about-3 year old they are looking at a fairly steep increase in nanny pay. It sounds like they're already stretched paying a nanny for one child (OP said she doesn't get market rates or raises, I think), so it seems unlikely they'd be able to pay for two-under-three. Or that they'd be comfortable with that! That is very demanding and as we are often reminded here, nannies don't have supervisors and coworkers who can step in when they get overwhelmed. Also daycares often offer sibling-discounts, especially if it's an at-home daycare. It's just one of many possibilities about what's going on here. Why are we so eager to slam these parents?

Maybe one of their employers is starting a round of layoffs and they're feeling insecure about their employment.
Maybe they have an unanticipated expense coming up, like mom got diagnosed with cancer and won't want the nanny and child underfoot every single day while she's undergoing treatment.
Maybe maybe maybe. No one knows but those two parents. I seriously doubt folks who'd elicit this kind of nanny-loyalty for two years are interested in simply fucking their kid over. I think there is more to it than OP knows and she's so self-absorbed she can't recognize that she is an employee, not a family member.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. And thank you for all the comments. Love or hate me, please help me...

How can I best prepare my charge for all-day daycare? I don't want this transition to be hard for him. He is a sensitive little guy and small for his age. He is also hard to understand if you haven't been around him a lot.

Thank you.

You tell him that he's going to a fantastic place where he will make a ton of new friends, see new toys, learn new things, go new place. Repeat as needed until he's looking forward to it.

Anonymous wrote:
Calm down, PP. Give the poor OP a chance to digest the news! She just found out a few hours ago!!!!

You people are heartless.

MB here and I am very sorry, OP. Know that the good you did your charge will be a part of him forever. I wish you better luck in the future.

Better luck? In what way did she have bad luck? She's had a job for two years, parents are happy with her, the charge is a nice child, when parents decided to move on, they gave her enough notice, so in what way does she need better luck? Two years is entirely adequate for a nanny gig.