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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "New AP never leaves the house..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This young lady is doing nothing to help herself. I’m not going to change my work environment and my nanny is trying to get the AP to step up. We’ve had live in summer sitters for the last six years and they all engage, find a role and help out. This AP seems to want everything handed to her. She arrived in NY in January with no warm clothes, we got her everything she needed. She arrived with no computer, we set up a laptop for her. The equation is unbalanced because she’s contributing so little overall [/quote] After we match, we give our AP a list of things to bring, including weather appropriate clothes which they can choose to bring or buy once here. Especially an AP coming from a very different climate, it is important to explain and give examples of what are weather appropriate clothes - they may have no idea what it really means if they come from a tropical country and moves to Boston in the middle of a snow storm. I considers it my responsibility as a HM to at the very least not assume that she will just know what to pack but to guide her so if she still doesn't pay attention, then at least I tried to tell her. We also ask if our overseas AP will be coming with a laptop. We do not assume anything. What may seem normal or common sense is only common sense to us, not necessarily to the AP, too. As for having the nanny still there, as other PP mentioned, this AP (not all AP) but this one, seems very lost as to what her place is in the house. The long time nanny has the established relationship with the kids, just like a HM. It is very difficult for a new AP, especially one without natural confidence, to really insert herself. You need to remove the training wheels (the nanny) and have the AP just take care of the kids by herself and see if she sink or swim. Don't drag out the training. Take a couple of days to show how to do the KEY responsibilities and then let go. You may see the situation as the AP not doing much and being very lazy, but it could also be the AP doesn't know when to step in and afraid to, since there are "too many cooks in the kitchen". Tell her for the next 4 hours, she is IT (no nanny, no HM, no other adults). Then, see what she can really do. She will make mistakes and be inefficient in the beginning but that is part of the learning curve. Do not compare her to your nanny. It took your nanny many years to hone her skills and figure out your expectations. Give the AP some time to figure it out but make it clear ... tag "your IT". [/quote]
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