Reply to Change Pocketing/Personal Expenses -How to handle?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the one who needed all 45 hours.  All 3 of my APs extended, and we have visited all of them in their own countries. I basically gave them free reign on what to do with my baby/toddler daughter during those hours.  "Please, take her and go shopping (bus and metro are walking distance) or have your AP friends come over." I wanted  them to enjoy themselves despite being *at work.*   My parents came every 3rd weekend to visit and often got there around noon on Friday so my APs got off a few  hours early those Fridays. Mostly they just hung around with my parents chatting until their friends were off work as well.  On those weekends I did not see the AP til Sunday night or Monday morning, whenever my parents left. [/quote]

This was how my HF handled it (HM's parents didn't come every 3rd weekend but at least every other month) and exactly why I still remember my AP year so fondly, 20 years later. My HP's never expected me to parent better than they did. If something was okay for them to do with the kids (take the kids to run errands, tell them to go watch tv for a peaceful 20 minute coffee break, kick them out to play in the backyard and watch them from the patio while feeding the baby) it was okay for me to do it with the kids. There was never an expectation of me to do anything better than they did - no 45 hrs of constant entertainment, enrichment, teaching, keeping engaged with 'meaningful' activities.

We are holding our child care providers to the same standards today. Do as we do. We make the kids come along for activities they want to do (as long as it's appropriate to take the kids) they can make the kids do the same. As long as they are well taken care of the AP is welcome to take the kids to a museum, to the mall, for lunch dates with friends... I'd rather they go somewhere than be at home all day. I also don't mind if they drive two suburbs over to go to the playground to meet a friend who can't drive with the kids she watches. I also wouldn't mind if she bought herself a coffee from the money I gave her for shopping, I would however mind not getting my change back if we are talking $20+.

[quote=Anonymous]By far, we hear most from families needing full time work for toddlers and preschoolers (40-45) and split shift for elementary (15-20). That doesn’t sound even remotely similar to a bell [/quote]

That sound more like a camel curve than a bell curve  :wink: [/quote]

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