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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is such a short-sighted way to handle this.  Either:

1) This is a family who constantly pushes it and tries to get you to take on more, in which case: you need to have a sit-down and clearly define your role IN GENERAL, and push back consistantly on all of this stuff

2) This js a family who is generally both respectful and flexible with you, in which case: let it go!  They asked you to do ONE THING that is outside of your normal hours.  You say it is not an issue in and of itself.  It is not going to occur again all the time because really how often do they travel?  A few times a year?

This could have been an opportunity for you to garner good will and demonstrate your own flexibility and value to the family but instead you demonstrated that you are inflexible and self-focused.  Your glowing reference is now tarnished just a little over something you claim you don’t even mind doing.  Very very silly.[/quote]

Completely disagree with your second example. If this “tarnishes” a reference then these ppl really are horrible. When you provide a reference you speak on the actual work that is done. If they have the audacity to say “well we told her to drop us off and pick us up from the airport and she declined” any normal professional person would think they were crazy and ask why would that be a nanny duty. It amazes me how many nannies and families really have no idea how to be professional.

Good for you OP. [/quote]

See, this is just the kind of thinking that leads to these sorts of shortsighted decisions.  While I am sure the family will not mention this particular incident to any future references, the emotion that they walk away with is part of how they perceive her. She had a chance to leave them with a sense that it is so great to have her is their nanny, she takes amazing care of their entire family, and she smooths over every rough edge in their parenting experience.   Instead, she has reinforced for them that she is exclusively a child care provider. I am sure they still think of her as a good child care provider, but they don’t think of her as a miracle worker. That is the difference between a glowing and an average reference. My references say things about me such as “if you don’t hire her, then that is the biggest mistake you ever make as a parent.“   The emotion that they  Carry around about man is glowingly and exclusively positive. That is how you make a good impression that will give me an amazing reference for years to come, even long after you have left their family.   This is dramatically different from references who think of you as a child care provider who did a pretty good job and they wish you well. Those are the kinds of references that 10 years down the line get tired of talking about you, or will say that they can’t really remember that much, but they had an overall good experience with you.  [/quote]

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