Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a short-sighted way to handle this. Either:

1) This is a family who constantly pushes it and tries to get you to take on more, in which case: you need to have a sit-down and clearly define your role IN GENERAL, and push back consistantly on all of this stuff

Or

2) This js a family who is generally both respectful and flexible with you, in which case: let it go! They asked you to do ONE THING that is outside of your normal hours. You say it is not an issue in and of itself. It is not going to occur again all the time because really how often do they travel? A few times a year?

This could have been an opportunity for you to garner good will and demonstrate your own flexibility and value to the family but instead you demonstrated that you are inflexible and self-focused. Your glowing reference is now tarnished just a little over something you claim you don’t even mind doing. Very very silly.

Completely disagree with your second example. If this “tarnishes” a reference then these ppl really are horrible. When you provide a reference you speak on the actual work that is done. If they have the audacity to say “well we told her to drop us off and pick us up from the airport and she declined” any normal professional person would think they were crazy and ask why would that be a nanny duty. It amazes me how many nannies and families really have no idea how to be professional.

Good for you OP.

See, this is just the kind of thinking that leads to these sorts of shortsighted decisions. While I am sure the family will not mention this particular incident to any future references, the emotion that they walk away with is part of how they perceive her. She had a chance to leave them with a sense that it is so great to have her is their nanny, she takes amazing care of their entire family, and she smooths over every rough edge in their parenting experience. Instead, she has reinforced for them that she is exclusively a child care provider. I am sure they still think of her as a good child care provider, but they don’t think of her as a miracle worker. That is the difference between a glowing and an average reference. My references say things about me such as “if you don’t hire her, then that is the biggest mistake you ever make as a parent.“ The emotion that they Carry around about man is glowingly and exclusively positive. That is how you make a good impression that will give me an amazing reference for years to come, even long after you have left their family. This is dramatically different from references who think of you as a child care provider who did a pretty good job and they wish you well. Those are the kinds of references that 10 years down the line get tired of talking about you, or will say that they can’t really remember that much, but they had an overall good experience with you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been in similar positions more times than I can count.

In one family, I knew when I was hired that dB was single and on call anytime he was home, so with only one vehicle? I was constantly on call too. He received a call, both of us slept with doors cracked so I would wake up when he did. I let the teenager know I was running dad to work while he got the details, we both threw on clothes and left. It was frustrating being woken so often, but I knew it would be like that when I signed on for the job. And dB was amazing, never once called me from work to pick him up until 5 am, no matter what time he finished, that way I could sleep as much as possible.

Areas without Uber, most of the time I’ve driven, always asked (regardless of whether it was during my shift or not). Areas with Uber, sometimes I’ve been asked, sometimes not.

You were a live in?

Yes

Anonymous wrote:This is such a short-sighted way to handle this. Either:

1) This is a family who constantly pushes it and tries to get you to take on more, in which case: you need to have a sit-down and clearly define your role IN GENERAL, and push back consistantly on all of this stuff

Or

2) This js a family who is generally both respectful and flexible with you, in which case: let it go! They asked you to do ONE THING that is outside of your normal hours. You say it is not an issue in and of itself. It is not going to occur again all the time because really how often do they travel? A few times a year?

This could have been an opportunity for you to garner good will and demonstrate your own flexibility and value to the family but instead you demonstrated that you are inflexible and self-focused. Your glowing reference is now tarnished just a little over something you claim you don’t even mind doing. Very very silly.

Completely disagree with your second example. If this “tarnishes” a reference then these ppl really are horrible. When you provide a reference you speak on the actual work that is done. If they have the audacity to say “well we told her to drop us off and pick us up from the airport and she declined” any normal professional person would think they were crazy and ask why would that be a nanny duty. It amazes me how many nannies and families really have no idea how to be professional.

Good for you OP.

This is such a short-sighted way to handle this. Either:

1) This is a family who constantly pushes it and tries to get you to take on more, in which case: you need to have a sit-down and clearly define your role IN GENERAL, and push back consistantly on all of this stuff

Or

2) This js a family who is generally both respectful and flexible with you, in which case: let it go! They asked you to do ONE THING that is outside of your normal hours. You say it is not an issue in and of itself. It is not going to occur again all the time because really how often do they travel? A few times a year?

This could have been an opportunity for you to garner good will and demonstrate your own flexibility and value to the family but instead you demonstrated that you are inflexible and self-focused. Your glowing reference is now tarnished just a little over something you claim you don’t even mind doing. Very very silly.

I am a nanny.

They've been flexible with your student schedule by letting you go early when you needed. Why can't you give back the same flexibility when they need it ?

Anonymous wrote:OP, did you tell them? What happened?

I told them that I was caught off guard when he mentioned the drop off pick up to the airport. I told them that my work has always stayed within the lines of childcare and that I was not expecting them to ask me that. I told them that I could help arrange for a taxi to pick them up. Apparently their past nannies would pick them up and drop them off. They’re like “oh I’m sure we mentioned this in the interview” I said no because if you did this would’ve been in the contract. I told them that I will not be able to drop off or pick up,

OP, did you tell them? What happened?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it shocking that so many professional nannies do not know basic car seat safety. Car seats need to be replaced after accidents and after expiration dates. A car seat should only be used if the entire history of the car seat is known. Using a car seat provided by Uber or a rental company is pure negligence.

You're hilarious. If you are the OP's nanny family, then I fully expect you to drive your car to the airport then and leave it in the parking lot for the duration of the vacation OR schlep your car seats with you in the taxi to/from the airport and on the plane to/from your destination.

(And also, how do you think OP's family is getting their kids around safely at their vacation destination? Purchasing brand new car seats for their rental car when they get there??? You sound like someone who has either NEVER traveled anywhere with kids under 12...or just plain psychotic.)

Op here. And they travel every year to visit their family, so either they have seats at their destination or they will take the car seats with them.

Anonymous wrote:I find it shocking that so many professional nannies do not know basic car seat safety. Car seats need to be replaced after accidents and after expiration dates. A car seat should only be used if the entire history of the car seat is known. Using a car seat provided by Uber or a rental company is pure negligence.

You're hilarious. If you are the OP's nanny family, then I fully expect you to drive your car to the airport then and leave it in the parking lot for the duration of the vacation OR schlep your car seats with you in the taxi to/from the airport and on the plane to/from your destination.

(And also, how do you think OP's family is getting their kids around safely at their vacation destination? Purchasing brand new car seats for their rental car when they get there??? You sound like someone who has either NEVER traveled anywhere with kids under 12...or just plain psychotic.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know hire nannies because they want a household team and a little flexibility. They give you flexibility. They are even paying you for a week where your job will be really light and then you still have paid vacation. But you can’t be a little flexible? It’s one day of your life. Are you really going to suffer that much from going to bed late ONE night?

Are you serious?! A nanny isn’t your personal chauffeur. They provide care for CHILDREN. If you want someone who is a maid, Butler, chauffeur, nanny, household mananger, etc then you pay accordingly for that. No, I would not take my boss to the airport nor would they even ask. But the families I work with are professionals and do not blur lines.

Are YOU serious? Driving and picking up from the airport ONE TIME doesn't make you a chauffeur. It makes you an awesome, helpful, valuable employee who has critical thinking skills like - "hey - I recognize that getting to and from the airport with young kids is really stressful because of the car seat situation, and I'm going to go the extra mile to help them because I'm part of this village too."

I am very serious and you have lost your mind. The problem is people like you tend to view nannies, maids, etc. as the help who should bend to your every whim. You think bc you pay for a service that person owes you everything. OP doesn’t owe her family anything beyond what is in her contract. It does not make you awesome or valuable bc it has nothing to do with your job. It makes you taken advantage of and now the expectation has been set that you will do whatever they demand. Some ppl really shouldn’t be employers. It is not your nannies job or responsibility to help you figure out a ride situation nor is it her concern what stressors you have. Just like it isn’t your concern what happens to your boss.

See...this is the difference between you and me. I AM concerned with what happens with my boss. I don't just get to my desk and say "nope, not my job. They are not paying me for that so I am not going to help." I try to be proactive, helpful, and flexible. It has served me well.

WELL, the difference between you and I is that they threw this on my “desk” without even asking if I was available or willing to do it. We discussed in detail what my job would entail and they never mentioned taking to airport. My issue with this is that they demanded and didn’t even ask. They just assumed I would do it. I can be flexible, but please ask don’t just tell. It’s like if I went up to them and said I’m taking tomorrow off, I’m not coming. They wouldn’t like that. My job entails child related tasks and they are good bosses, I just don’t know why they would assume telling me and not asking me. And p.s. all you nannies come on here and act like y’all the best and most flexible. Like y’all actually probably the worst and be bragging on here land hate on the nannies who have issues with their employers. Most of us, at one point or another have experienced issues so don’t be pretending like oh I’m so flexible look at me I’m better than you blah blah blah

OP, if you genuinely like working for this family, you're about to make a huge misstep by making a big deal out of this (especially as you keep reiterating that you don't mind doing it...you just mind that they EXPECT you to do it and didn't ASK!) Your objection should be that the task falls outside your assigned tasks that you are willing to do. If you don't object to doing the task, then don't make the WAY in which is was given to you to do your hill to die on.

For example, if my boss suddenly says "Larla, you'll need to answer the phones at reception this morning."--I would object not only to being TOLD to answer phones, but also to being assigned the task of answering phones in the first place, as it has nothing to do with my job. I would just say "sorry, Bob, but that's not something I'll be able to do. I bet HR has the number of a temp agency though." (In the same way, you could say "Sorry, Larlo, but I won't be able to pick you up from the airport. Would you like me to arrange for an uber or a taxi?") But if it is something I would do if he had "asked nicely"....then guess what...I would just do it. And the next time something like this comes up, I'd be ready with a firm and on-the-spot reply "I'm sorry Larlo, but I won't be able to help you out with that."

Also...for the record, it's "between you and me" not "between you and I"-- PSA from the grammar police.

I thought a nanny provided child care.

OP are you a Nanny or Household manager?

So what happened OP?

Anonymous wrote:I have been in similar positions more times than I can count.

In one family, I knew when I was hired that dB was single and on call anytime he was home, so with only one vehicle? I was constantly on call too. He received a call, both of us slept with doors cracked so I would wake up when he did. I let the teenager know I was running dad to work while he got the details, we both threw on clothes and left. It was frustrating being woken so often, but I knew it would be like that when I signed on for the job. And dB was amazing, never once called me from work to pick him up until 5 am, no matter what time he finished, that way I could sleep as much as possible.

Areas without Uber, most of the time I’ve driven, always asked (regardless of whether it was during my shift or not). Areas with Uber, sometimes I’ve been asked, sometimes not.

You were a live in?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know hire nannies because they want a household team and a little flexibility. They give you flexibility. They are even paying you for a week where your job will be really light and then you still have paid vacation. But you can’t be a little flexible? It’s one day of your life. Are you really going to suffer that much from going to bed late ONE night?

Are you serious?! A nanny isn’t your personal chauffeur. They provide care for CHILDREN. If you want someone who is a maid, Butler, chauffeur, nanny, household mananger, etc then you pay accordingly for that. No, I would not take my boss to the airport nor would they even ask. But the families I work with are professionals and do not blur lines.

Are YOU serious? Driving and picking up from the airport ONE TIME doesn't make you a chauffeur. It makes you an awesome, helpful, valuable employee who has critical thinking skills like - "hey - I recognize that getting to and from the airport with young kids is really stressful because of the car seat situation, and I'm going to go the extra mile to help them because I'm part of this village too."

I am very serious and you have lost your mind. The problem is people like you tend to view nannies, maids, etc. as the help who should bend to your every whim. You think bc you pay for a service that person owes you everything. OP doesn’t owe her family anything beyond what is in her contract. It does not make you awesome or valuable bc it has nothing to do with your job. It makes you taken advantage of and now the expectation has been set that you will do whatever they demand. Some ppl really shouldn’t be employers. It is not your nannies job or responsibility to help you figure out a ride situation nor is it her concern what stressors you have. Just like it isn’t your concern what happens to your boss.

See...this is the difference between you and me. I AM concerned with what happens with my boss. I don't just get to my desk and say "nope, not my job. They are not paying me for that so I am not going to help." I try to be proactive, helpful, and flexible. It has served me well.

I’m sure it has and good for you. You can be a pushover and call it flexibility all you want but I will not. I’m great at my job and my beliefs have also served me well.

I find it shocking that so many professional nannies do not know basic car seat safety. Car seats need to be replaced after accidents and after expiration dates. A car seat should only be used if the entire history of the car seat is known. Using a car seat provided by Uber or a rental company is pure negligence.