Reply to Walking on egg shells around AP

Forum Index » Au Pair Discussion

Reply to "Walking on egg shells around AP"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Some of the attitudes here are exactly why Massachusetts just decided that APs need to be paid minimum wage. I was a nanny for several years, and as a parent I've used day cares, preschools, nannies, and now an AP. all of them required some level of accommodation on my part. For those who lived with me, the transition period was long and required a lot of effort on my part because as the employer, there is an onus on my part to try and get communications lines clear. My last nanny was 10 years older than me and had no problem making herself understood even though we communicated in my language and not hers. My 20 YO AP is much less confident in English and much less willing to make her needs known, so yes I need to make much more of an effort to draw out her needs.

OP, is it possible for you to schedule a time to check-in every week, just for 10-15 minutes? I doubt you can do much to change child-driven chaos in the evenings and she needs to understand that that is just life, as are every day disagreements between family members. But you and your husband might consider what and how you are arguing...nobody likes it when their bosses disagree, and it probably puts her in an uncomfortable position when she might agree with one or the other of you but not be able to say so. If dinner time is part of her hours, she should get some say in the decision making process. If dinner time is not part of her work day, then propose that a few nights a week she go out with other AP friends who may be free in the evening, or take an evening class. You shouldn't need to walk on eggshells with her, but it seems like she feels the same need with you, so it's probably time to have a frank discussion about each of your needs and if you don't think it's possible for each of you to reach a place where you can be confident in each other, then it's time to initiate a rematch.

(And yes for those about to talk about how hard your lives are...I'm a single parent, have animals, high stress job with long hours...yadda yadda. I've also been in high pressure leadership roles since my early 20s. You can do all of those things and still be a good boss. The ability to retain your humanity and humility is, in fact, what makes you a good boss...or a bad one when you lose those.)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics