Reply to Walking on egg shells around AP

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have never spoken English with an au pair so it’s not something I care about at all, but what if you told her you would put a plate to the side and encourage her to go the gym or take a walk so she could have dinner in a quieter environment and then have a cup of coffee or tea and dessert with her while she eats dinner so she’s not eating alone. [/quote]

Are you insane???

Who da fuk has time to sit down and baby this girls fragile state of mind each night with tea and dessert? You're nuts. I get home at 530, scramble to make dinner, nag everyone to help me clean up, go over the kids homework with them, see what they are struggling with, try to bond with my 13yr old, corral everyone to brush their teeth, both boys still love me to lay in bed and talk to them and then flop into bed. Nowhere in there is time for my husband let alone some freaking tea and crumpets with Miss Cranky pants. [/quote]

+100 Must be the same people who take their au pair everywhere with them for the first 6 weeks.[/quote]

I’m a widow with a toddler who goes to bed early, so it’s not a big deal for me to make sure my au pair has a good meal and conversation (if she wants it). She’s a bit of a homebody, but with much encouragement she’s making her way out and meeting people. I look at my au pair like that look at my niece. If my niece were doing a year in DC, I would try to make sure she had a safe and successful experience in a big city. I don’t treat my au pair as if she were Anne of Green Gables straight from the asylum in Halifax for the sole purpose of saving my twins from the croup, but to each to her own. [/quote]

Sorry for your loss. But with all due respect, your situation is probably not the norm for most of us families with multiple kids. We need help managing and controlling the chaos and that is the APs job. She doesn’t have to eat with us all the time, but if her schedule is from 4-8pm, and that includes dinner and bed time, and that schedule was discussed prior to matching, Then you can darn well bet I expect her to suck up the family chaos and bickering and help out and do her job. She can eat if she wants. Or she can watch and bring the kids milk if they ask, and help do their dishes afterward, or accompany them to the bathroom which they usually need to do in the middle of dinner. [/quote]

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