Reply to AP taking care of other kids

Forum Index » Au Pair Discussion

Reply to "AP taking care of other kids"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is grey area. You can’t tell her she must watch the cousin because she is working for you and is there to watch your kids. Not your nephew’s. For those talking about playdates it works the same. You can’t make her to watch other kids if she doesn’t feel comfortable.[/quote]

+1
Yes, it's done all the time. I don't think there is anything in the DOS program regulations that officially forbids it either (there might be something in the contract you signed with the agency though), however... the program does make it somewhat clear that you are hiring your AP to watch your children. You can't open a daycare in your home, dump half a dozen of your neighbor's children on your AP and tell her to watch them as part of the program. Which I think we can all agree about. And then there are the grey areas, starting with playdates, carpooling and ending with best friends spending the night or cousins spending a week(end).

Most APs will at some point watch children they were not hired to watch. The problem starts where they stop being comfortable with it. Either because of the number of children, the specific child or because of the duration. I doubt the AP in this case would mind if cousin came over to play every other Monday. Watching him for two weeks is different tough (synergies change with time).

[quote=Anonymous]What is your safety concern? Ap knows this cousin. Cousin doesn’t have any medical issues and is the same age and ability as one of my kids. When cousin is in my home he follows my family rules. Period.[/quote]

My safety concerns would be that sometimes two 8 year olds get into more trouble together than alone. Dynamics change.
What if cousin doesn't follow your family rules? Will she be allowed to discipline him as she does yours? What if he decides he doesn't have to listen to her because she is not his AP and she is not his mom/aunt/granny/...?
Cousin might not have any medical issues at the moment but what if something happens while AP is watching him? Say he doesn't listen, runs into the street and gets hit by a car? She loses track of him at the pool and he drowns? He has his first allergical reaction to a bee sting? He chokes on his hot dog? She picks them up from camp, they get hit by a car, cousin gets injured? Yes, none of this is likely to happen but what if? Especially insurance wise. There will not be a question on if she was supposed to watch your children because that's what she was hired to do... but what about him? What if something happens while she is in his care? Would it be her responsibility? Because she was supposed to watch him? Or yours? Because it was on you to take care of him, AP shouldn't have but you dumped him on her?

Thing is, he is not your child. Not by birth, not by adoption, he's not even officially a foster child. Legally that might make a difference. And you might want to find out in howfar it does before you agree to anything. Call your LCC. Call the main office. Heck, call DOS. But make sure you know you (and AP) are in the clear when you agree to this.

Would I have done it? Yes, I would have and I did (though the cousin that was added to the mix was a bit older, 13/14, and my main area of care was always the baby anyhow... the rest of the kids ((pre)teens) were supposed to be alive and accounted for but if they cut each others hair while I wasn't looking it was on them not me). Did I mind? No, I didn't. Did I (legally) have to? I doubt it. My LCC would most likely not have cared (she didn't care about us and our well-being much in general) but if something had happened on my duty I am sure somebody would have been in trouble and all I know is that it would not have been the cousin. I have no idea if it would have fallen back on my, my HF or the aunt though. And for two weeks? If that were my children? I'd make sure I knew what I might be getting into. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics