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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it occurs to me that the list you made of how this plays out applies to you and your DH, too.

You complain to him, he does something about it, he gives in to his mom, you let it go, you get resentful, rinse and repeat.

You really have to stop allowing him to decide whether or not anything changes. You change. Yes, it's demoralizing, but has there ever been a world in which wishing people were different made them so? You have an annoying, difficult MIL. You've done what you can to get her to change. Now all that's left is that you do.[/quote]

Yes, this is actually true. Thanks for enlightening me.

I just wanted to post an update.

Just wanted to post an update.

So DH texted his mother, but really only because she texted first and FIL had called DH. I honestly don't want to read her messages anymore because it stresses me out. But she basically said "we (her and FIL) are not coming as long as the nanny is there. We now know where your priorities lie. You're being crazy. What the hell is wrong with you."

So the issue sprung from her being upset over us not wanting her to visit March and May. Now she's also mad about the nanny being around when she is (she's been mad about this since the last time, but this wasn't the reason for the current argument.)

DH replied how we had them here the last time, but had a bad experience and this is the reason why we want the nanny around. MIL then replied that she will never in her life forgive DH for this. FIL said MIL has been crying because in her eyes, we basically said "she is not a fit grandmother to watch over her grandchild."

I don't think she realizes that our decisions are based on past experience. We did not fabricate this story. Sigh, you just cannot reason with this woman.

Also, this weekend, FIL has been pleading for DD to FaceTime his mother so she can see DD.[/quote]

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