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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, the dynamic is really common.  Your child is more comfortable with the nanny, who watches her every day for hours on end.  Of course she is going to freak out with Grandma, and of course Grandma is going to feel hurt and rejected.  Everyone, including the nanny, is being set up to fail here.  You cannot just drop child in Grandma's arms and say "here" .  You have to ease everyone into this.

If the nanny doesn't come on Fridays, schedule grandma to come on Thursday evening.  Then spend Friday, Saturday, and Sunday as a family, so that your child and MIL can be more comfortable with one another.

Nanny can come Monday and Tuesday while grandma goes wine tasting.  Grandma flies out Wednesday.

Facetime when it is fun and works for you both.  I Facetime while driving, meaning, I give the phone to DS and hook the audio into bluetooth.  I talk to my mom while DS watches the screen and sometimes chimes in.  It works great![/quote]

Thank you for your suggestion, I appreciate it!

They always try to pick the most reasonably-priced flights so the days they fly in is always random. But I'll have DH handle this from now on.

It's just demotivating to even try to make things work with her. When I was pregnant, my mother brought me some dish (made from fish) from my country. She caught a whiff of it and said, "That's disgusting! What are you feeding my baby?" In another incident, I was eating some dessert made from taro. MIL randomly said, "Ewww!!! Our baby doesn't want that!"

I understand that people have different dietary preferences and I have always known that she has a lot of prejudice towards cultures she has never been exposed to. She's always been disgusted with food that's not American. While I respect other people's choices, to me, what she said implies that I am feeding my own child undesirable food all because it's unfamiliar to her. It's not even bad/unhealthy food. It's just unfamiliar to her. So apart from her flipping out when her demands aren't met, she also is prejudice and has no tact.

It's one of those things where you want the relationship to work, but you really know what kind of person they are so you feel like the only reason why you're even trying to make this work is because you really don't have much of a choice.

Anyway, thanks for your suggestions and I apologize if I sounded like I was ranting again.[/quote]

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