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[quote=Anonymous]MB here.  I think the phone use is a red flag.  Especially to be doing it when she knows you are watching on a nanny cam is utterly disrespectful, and shows that she really doesn't care about your wishes.  That issue--her respect for you as her boss--seems to be the crux of the problem.  And this will only become more of a problem as time passes.  What if you want her to help you sleep train the baby and she refuses? (or she insists on sleep training when it's not what you want)  What if you have different ideas about discipline, or what to feed the baby as he gets older?  Or what activities are age-appropriate.  Career nannies do have a depth of knowledge new parents don't, but that doesn't mean they should not honor where a parent is coming from.

We had a career nanny for several years.  In many ways she was wonderful, she was very proactive and had lots of ideas for activities which we appreciated.  But she definitely had a chip on her shoulder and felt that her way was the right way.  She often spoke derisively of other families she worked with and how they cared for their children (they always sounded pretty normal to me).  That said, she agreed to follow our wishes so we never considered letting her go.  But the way she spoke of other families always made me a bit uncomfortable.

I think you need to sit down with your nanny and explain your concerns.  Maybe focus on the phone usage, and also that while you recognize that babies can be boring, you would like her to interact more with the baby, or take him out for walks or something.  But really, you need to show that while you respect and welcome her views, you are in charge.  It's really important to have a nanny you can communicate with openly and where nanny and family respect each other.  If she does not respect you then I do think she should go.[/quote]

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