To boil it down, the nanny you hired is disregarding your desire/explicit directive to stay off her phone around baby. If you have discussed this with her already, it is time for a come to Jesus warning. If you haven't already discussed it, you need to explicitly tell her what you expect and if the NCS don't change then have the come to Jesus talk. If she can't or won't follow a basic rule, she is not the nanny you want.

The agency - does their fee equal a % of the yearly wages for the candidate hired? If so, that's why they told everyone the max rate you could pay. Regardless, tell them to not discuss anything but a rate range if you can't find a better agency.

Babies absorb everything. Unless they are showing that they are overstimulated, I am playing, narrating, reading, singing, cuddling, and so forth. At 6 months it's important to have conversations with baby to demonstrate give and take too. Yes, a little quiet time is also good, and I give them that, but to not bother to interact much because they are "just babies" is not excellent nanny behavior.

Please do not use unnecessary contraptions for babies.
It's not healthy for development.

Anonymous wrote:Your baby is only 6 months old !! While it's good for him to be read to and narrate what you do etc, he doesn't need to know his colors now. Let him be a baby

I'm sure your nanny will be more comfortable when your baby's older and starts talking.

But if you don't feel she's a fit, find someone else. You have to be happy, especially if you're paying a very good rate.

Colors are part of language. I sat my newborn charge in a bouncy seat and read Brown Bear, Brown Bear every single day as part of our finger play, always adding "what color is that_____ that ____\blank is ______ color" at every page. My charge knew his colors before he could speak at 20 months.

Your baby is only 6 months old !! While it's good for him to be read to and narrate what you do etc, he doesn't need to know his colors now. Let him be a baby

I'm sure your nanny will be more comfortable when your baby's older and starts talking.

But if you don't feel she's a fit, find someone else. You have to be happy, especially if you're paying a very good rate.

MB here. I think the phone use is a red flag. Especially to be doing it when she knows you are watching on a nanny cam is utterly disrespectful, and shows that she really doesn't care about your wishes. That issue--her respect for you as her boss--seems to be the crux of the problem. And this will only become more of a problem as time passes. What if you want her to help you sleep train the baby and she refuses? (or she insists on sleep training when it's not what you want) What if you have different ideas about discipline, or what to feed the baby as he gets older? Or what activities are age-appropriate. Career nannies do have a depth of knowledge new parents don't, but that doesn't mean they should not honor where a parent is coming from.

We had a career nanny for several years. In many ways she was wonderful, she was very proactive and had lots of ideas for activities which we appreciated. But she definitely had a chip on her shoulder and felt that her way was the right way. She often spoke derisively of other families she worked with and how they cared for their children (they always sounded pretty normal to me). That said, she agreed to follow our wishes so we never considered letting her go. But the way she spoke of other families always made me a bit uncomfortable.

I think you need to sit down with your nanny and explain your concerns. Maybe focus on the phone usage, and also that while you recognize that babies can be boring, you would like her to interact more with the baby, or take him out for walks or something. But really, you need to show that while you respect and welcome her views, you are in charge. It's really important to have a nanny you can communicate with openly and where nanny and family respect each other. If she does not respect you then I do think she should go.

Anonymous wrote:We have a highly educated and very expensive nanny, too. She read to DD from the moment she was born, narrated for her, played with her (lots of hand games and songs), did sign language - basically fired all parts of my DD's brain. Nanny had "sensory stations", played music, NEVER used her phone and took her outside as much as possible (narrating everything she saw for DD) Nanny also found appropriate classes for DD and took her to them. And is so loving and affectionate with DD. My DD loves her nanny.

It is hard work to be a great nanny! I understand why she could demand such a high hourly rate.

DD is now two and an incredibly verbal and communicative child - certainly way ahead of her peers. She is also empathetic and can define emotions in other. She is amazing at pretending! She is polite - please, thank you, excuse me - and just a really great, funny little kid. I give so much of the credit to our nanny.


So yeah - I understand, OP. Talk to your nanny and tell her exactly what you want. If not, you will have to replace her before your baby gets attached.

Baby is already attached.