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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -- thanks to everyone for the great advice.  For the most part, this has confirmed my feeling that this is not the right fit for a lot of reasons.  I know it's not perfect for her either because she's constantly worried about why we aren't clicking -- she asks my husband about it all the time.

And for the PP below -- give me a friggin' break.  Did you not read my original post where I specifically asked about whether I should overlook my needs in favor of the nanny continuing the relationship with my kid?

[quote=Anonymous]Can't say I have much respect for parents who are convinced that their needs are the only ones that should matter. 
If the nanny talks too much, can't you separate yourselves like big girls?[/quote][/quote]

I had read what you wrote, OP. I was responding more to all(?) the posters here who seem to not give a hoot about the kid. It kind of makes me sick. I expect two caring and mature adults to be committed to the needs of a child, a little more often around here. Feels like, I don't like your new hair style. Fuck it. Out of here. Lovely. How do you think these kids are going to grow up, with that kind of constant example?

Yes, I have put up with a few shity parents over the years, and not because I didn't have other attractive job offers. I always knew that they weren't the most important part of my work. The child was. I expect parents to meet me at least half way. Adult relationships take work.[b] You aren't going to find a person who is perfect for both you and your child[/b]. Why? You and your child have completely different needs, as it should be.

I trust you'll do the best thing for your child. I don't think parents should be looking to get their own needs met by their child's nanny.[/quote]

I actually don't think that's true.  Our very first nanny was similar to OPs and drove me crazy.  She was good with DS but horrible with me.  Since then, due to several military moves, we've had several other nannies who were actually even better with DS and I liked much more too and were MUCH easier to be around.  Even though we have moved I'm still in touch with them.  So it's definitely possible to find a nanny that is good with your children and who you enjoy being around.  [/quote]

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