Reply to When cleaning up after the kids becomes cleaning up after the adults.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have said it before in response to similar postings, and I will say it again.

I honestly think that it is difficult to ask a college student/graduate or graduate student to undertake any sort of housework -- cleaning, laundry, dishes -- because in most cases they will consider this sort of work beneath them.

Many families are not so much looking for a "nanny" (though that is what they will call the job) as for a "SAHP-substitute".  Please ask any stay-at-home parent whether his/her work is limited to watching, driving, feeding, and caring for the kids; or whether SAHP also cooks, cleans, does the dishes and laundry for the entire family.

Many immigrant nannies (ours have always been legal) consider parenthood/nannying and household work to be hand-in-hand sisters, because in reality they are.

I think that it is very important when hiring the nanny to ask them specifically which duties they consider a part of their job. In addition, I always make sure to hire a weekly maid service -- separate from the nanny -- so that the nanny does not feel burdened by heavy-duty cleaning and housekeeping.[/quote]

I think it is important to note that the OP here is not complaining that she was asked to be a general housekeeper/maid with responsibility for heavy cleaning, cooking, parents' laundry, etc.  She is complaining that the parents don't clean up after the kids as diligently or as thoroughly as they expect her to do.

I have never met a professional nanny who had a problem with comprehensive child-related work, including kids' laundry, toy management, cooking, etc. and including some extra burden that is caused by the parents' failure to spend as much time on child-related cleanup tasks as they expect the nanny to spend.  And that goes for the college-degreed career nannies, which happens to be all I have ever hired.  I do think some college students who only have experience as occasional or summer babysitters might feel this kind of work is beneath them, or might think the parents are taking advantage of them by expecting them to provide such services.  Same is true of many women who are working as a nanny by default, because they aren't qualified to do much else or aren't legal to work in the U.S.  That is why these women should get paid less than the true professionals.

Nannies, you need to understand that when they are not working and not directly engaged with the kids, parents have to deal with a zillion childcare-related, house-related, personal, and financial/educational/child development planning tasks that may never even have crossed your mind, especially if you do not yet have kids of your own.  Just as your employer in an office job has different responsibilities than you have, so does your employer in the nanny world.  Should parents teach their kids to clean up their own toys?  Yes, and most do.  No, and I can't imagine that many do.  Should parents spend precious time off making sure they leave all child-utilized areas in the same condition on Monday morning that you left it in on Friday evening?  Hell, no.  Is that a double standard?  Yes, and why shouldn't it be?  The parents' job with respect to their kids is just fundamentally different from your job with respect to those same kids.      [/quote]

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