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[quote=Anonymous]Wow my heart just broke for them and brought back memories of when I was so young and a little naiive when it comes to the nanny/housekeeper world.

During summers , I would work in an upscale neighborhood in the DMV for this south asian family (wonderful parents)...but I didn't realize I was being overworked for 12 hours straight cleaning a mansion size house top to bottom for $8/hr (i'm talking deep cleaning), plus watch the kids and sometimes do admin stuff.

One day, the grandmother (who lived in the home, had her own suite) found me drinking out of one of the glasses (the MB had told me where they kept their glasses so I could use those than carry my huge bottle around which i would often lose). She walked up to me and said "this is the glass you can you? (insert MB's name) told you?" and i said "yes, is everything okay?" and she said "well...this is the glass you would be using, for you only, and you can keep it here (takes the cup to put it right by the sink window).

I had already worked 8hrs and was so tired that I wasn't following what just happened... until it clicked later as I was putting the vacuum away. I heard grandma chattering in their mother tongue (and I could hear the word cup) and it seemed they were going back and forth about where & which cup I was to use. Thats when it clicked that grandma had a problem with me (the house keeper) using their utensils. Basically for grandma, since I am a housekeeper & I guess a stranger, I am not to use their things unless I was given designated things to use as a house keeper (separate bathroom to use/mudroom, separate plates/cups etc). In some cultures, this is a norm.

The next day I came in with my own utensils, bottle etc and never used any of their plates. Long story short I didn't stay long after that. But the trauma after that is in my nanny career, I had a hard time accepting the invitation to use any family items. i don't expect to just use whatever I want when I go into peoples homes anyway but until 2013 I'd never had an experience where someone made an obvious point to not use certain items because of my position or whatever else. Prior to that and even now, I always ask families what I can and cannot use/touch etc for myself or as I am using it for the children. Almost every family I've been with has never had an issue and would even seem confused as to why I even ask.But even when I'm told to feel free to use anything in the home, i don't use special plates/utensils/cups or any of the nice stuff. i just go simple and I make sure to wash them before leaving.

If I am super unsure, i always just bring my own cup/plate etc and keep it in a tote in the mud room. I think its my way of preventing what I experienced and would never want anyone feeling bad or uncomfortable because I used their plates/cups etc obliviously. [/quote]

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