Good lord! These are stories out of "The Help."!

In some cultures it’s normal to cut off a girl’s clitoris and bind their feet - that does not make it right.

DO not normalize or justify their despicable treatment of you, PP.

add: I am also a person of color (but of a different race from them), so in that moment, based on previous experiences, I knew that that also came into play. My lessons from all of this is i always ask...from the beginning I try to get a sense of what a family's beliefs are and if me as a person, my race, beliefs or mere existence would sort of clash with theirs, I ask about where I can keep my things, what I can use/what i can't, which rooms are off bounds for me and the children, what food I cannot bring in. I am accommodating and respectful unless their beliefs/practices negate my value as a person to which I kindly pass and thankfully I have not run into any weird situations(the above experience was my first with a family).

Wow my heart just broke for them and brought back memories of when I was so young and a little naiive when it comes to the nanny/housekeeper world.

During summers , I would work in an upscale neighborhood in the DMV for this south asian family (wonderful parents)...but I didn't realize I was being overworked for 12 hours straight cleaning a mansion size house top to bottom for $8/hr (i'm talking deep cleaning), plus watch the kids and sometimes do admin stuff.

One day, the grandmother (who lived in the home, had her own suite) found me drinking out of one of the glasses (the MB had told me where they kept their glasses so I could use those than carry my huge bottle around which i would often lose). She walked up to me and said "this is the glass you can you? (insert MB's name) told you?" and i said "yes, is everything okay?" and she said "well...this is the glass you would be using, for you only, and you can keep it here (takes the cup to put it right by the sink window).

I had already worked 8hrs and was so tired that I wasn't following what just happened... until it clicked later as I was putting the vacuum away. I heard grandma chattering in their mother tongue (and I could hear the word cup) and it seemed they were going back and forth about where & which cup I was to use. Thats when it clicked that grandma had a problem with me (the house keeper) using their utensils. Basically for grandma, since I am a housekeeper & I guess a stranger, I am not to use their things unless I was given designated things to use as a house keeper (separate bathroom to use/mudroom, separate plates/cups etc). In some cultures, this is a norm.

The next day I came in with my own utensils, bottle etc and never used any of their plates. Long story short I didn't stay long after that. But the trauma after that is in my nanny career, I had a hard time accepting the invitation to use any family items. i don't expect to just use whatever I want when I go into peoples homes anyway but until 2013 I'd never had an experience where someone made an obvious point to not use certain items because of my position or whatever else. Prior to that and even now, I always ask families what I can and cannot use/touch etc for myself or as I am using it for the children. Almost every family I've been with has never had an issue and would even seem confused as to why I even ask.But even when I'm told to feel free to use anything in the home, i don't use special plates/utensils/cups or any of the nice stuff. i just go simple and I make sure to wash them before leaving.

If I am super unsure, i always just bring my own cup/plate etc and keep it in a tote in the mud room. I think its my way of preventing what I experienced and would never want anyone feeling bad or uncomfortable because I used their plates/cups etc obliviously.

I was the nanny for an amazing child for five years in a kosher home. The kosher chef or the mother made all the meals for my charge and for the entire household staff - and none of us were Jewish. We all sat down together inside. We could bring our own food and we’re welcome to eat with everyone else on plates and in inside.

To make anyone sit on the curb to eat their lunch is appalling. Good for your former nanny for inviting her in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot bring in non kosher food or cook it in a kosher kitchen. Employee should have provided food.

The employees did bring their own food. However they should not have to be forced to eat it on the curb!

No, you're misreading. You can't bring non-kosher food into a kosher kitchen. So the employees CAN'T bring their own food into a kosher kitchen.

Or, in a kosher house. They had to bring kosher food or eat what was in the house. It absolutely cannot be cooked in the kitchen but should not be eaten in the home. Maybe the employers offered food and the staff didn't like the food offered.

OP here. The household staff was not allowed to eat the food the kosher chef prepared or even enter the kitchen.

And there’s nothing in the most Orthodox Jewish law that says non-kosher food can’t be eaten on the property especially by hungry workers.

Non-kosher food can not be put on plates and in bowls in a kosher kitchen. The workers can not use utensils in a kosher kitchen on non-kosher food.

If a non-kosher person cannot tough utensils or food, how do they feed the children?

Kosher chef.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot bring in non kosher food or cook it in a kosher kitchen. Employee should have provided food.

The employees did bring their own food. However they should not have to be forced to eat it on the curb!

No, you're misreading. You can't bring non-kosher food into a kosher kitchen. So the employees CAN'T bring their own food into a kosher kitchen.

Or, in a kosher house. They had to bring kosher food or eat what was in the house. It absolutely cannot be cooked in the kitchen but should not be eaten in the home. Maybe the employers offered food and the staff didn't like the food offered.

OP here. The household staff was not allowed to eat the food the kosher chef prepared or even enter the kitchen.

And there’s nothing in the most Orthodox Jewish law that says non-kosher food can’t be eaten on the property especially by hungry workers.

Non-kosher food can not be put on plates and in bowls in a kosher kitchen. The workers can not use utensils in a kosher kitchen on non-kosher food.

Not can they use a microwave or oven. It’s not supposed to be mixed with the kosher food on the same shelf or in the fridge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot bring in non kosher food or cook it in a kosher kitchen. Employee should have provided food.

The employees did bring their own food. However they should not have to be forced to eat it on the curb!

No, you're misreading. You can't bring non-kosher food into a kosher kitchen. So the employees CAN'T bring their own food into a kosher kitchen.

Or, in a kosher house. They had to bring kosher food or eat what was in the house. It absolutely cannot be cooked in the kitchen but should not be eaten in the home. Maybe the employers offered food and the staff didn't like the food offered.

OP here. The household staff was not allowed to eat the food the kosher chef prepared or even enter the kitchen.

And there’s nothing in the most Orthodox Jewish law that says non-kosher food can’t be eaten on the property especially by hungry workers.

Non-kosher food can not be put on plates and in bowls in a kosher kitchen. The workers can not use utensils in a kosher kitchen on non-kosher food.

If a non-kosher person cannot tough utensils or food, how do they feed the children?