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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you’re a woman, yes? Does your husband ever clean up after a meal? If not, I can see how your AP might think that cleanup is a task that you’ve agreed is yours. I wouldn’t want to help out, either, if my host father just peaced out after every meal and the womenfolk were expected to clean. I’d be like, that’s your weird, regressive dynamic, not mine.[/quote]

What ever the dynamic is between the parents is between them but as an AuPair, you are there for a job.  Your host family is not the hired help, you are.  If host mom cooks, you be decent and help clean up.  Or, make your own meals.[/quote]

Oh, so now it’s a job? Then pay your AP appropriately. Otherwise it’s basically slave labor under a thin veneer of “cultural exchange”.[/quote]

Oh FFS, you again.  I'll pay up more when they actually have to pay for their own room and board, their own food, their own utilities, their own car, their own car insurance, their own cell phone and data plan, their own wi-fi, their own housekeeping. THEN we can talk. [/quote]

Anyone have an aupair who stayed as a nanny or student after their aupair years? did their attitude change when they were actually paying for this list of things? Because, I know mine would. It's amazing how many aupairs think that this is just what an employer gives you.

In our home, you either cook or clean up at dinner. Even the toddlers. If you help cook, you don't have to clean. If you don't help cook dinner, you are clearing your plate, helping load the dishwasher and sweeping the floor. If your aupair sees everyone else contributing and doesn't help, that warrants a conversation. [/quote]

That’s fine, but apparently OP is the only one cleaning up, and she wants her AP to help her. Again, where’s Dad?[/quote]

We are not talking about that here.  It might be while mom cleans he is in charge of the kids, getting bed for bed o bath them.  The thing here is that "She eats like a guest"  and wait for others to clean up.  The worst thing "Only watch"  doing nothing.  "Hello, She eats, no cooks dinner and lives there".  Mom do something and talk straight to her.  [/quote]

+1. It doesn't really matter where the dad is unless he is also in the kitchen next to the AP and chatting. The fact that she just there chatting will be a big no for me. I don't have an AP now but when I had one when they ate diner with us, they helped cleaned up after. Sometimes they will need to leave a bit early and excuse themself, but yeah not in my house. Even my kids would not get way with this. My 5 y o already take their plate to the kitchen, as they get older they will be helping more.[/quote]

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