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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families.  One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.[/quote]

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses. [/quote]

And that's fine. It's called negotiating. If you don't want to hire someone, by all means walk away, some people don't mind paying $$$ for someone who has great qualifications, excellent rec

ommendations and can see the value in (especially in the current climate).  I personally don't see a problem in negotiating, I like confidence (especially when it's backed up by experiences and recommendations), I would rather pay more for an AP who already has experience being an AP, have a US driving license, have been sheltering and already know life in quarantine with a family and can come ASAP and great recommendations and who knows her worth and can prove it, than a new AP who might be a dud, might need driving lessons, might hate being an AP etc... sometimes, the knowledge your kids are in good hands is worth all the extra $, especially right now.

Honestly I am curious about the paycheck most of the HMs from this thread's get at the end of the month considering how many people see asking for a raise as '' being a princess'' and  ''lacking moral compass''. [b]Do all of you really walk into a job, and just accept the first salary and minimum perks that's offered to you and never ever ask for a raise and just wait to magically be considered for a promotion?[/b] No wonder there is a wage gap between male and females if that's the case, especially when I see how women are reacting to a young woman negotiating her pay.

I want my kids to know and learn that it's always okay for them to ask for what they think they are worth, they might get it, they might not but they most definitely won't get it if they don't ask.

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As an employer of both an AuPair and 16 direct reports I can tell you that women almost always do this and I have never seen a man do this.

Maybe that poster needs to change her mindset from one of servant to one of value. I feel sorry for thrmnif they are raising girls. Tje continued cycle of not valuing themselves. This is what I find truly gross [/quote]

Your poor parents...mine instilled both feminist values and compassion. Apparently yours missed the social compact piece. But go on, teach your kids to be selfish prigs. No wonder Trump got elected. [/quote]

Lol, you seem completely unhinged!

What does compassion have to do with anything? And why does your compassion lays with families rather than with the young AP? You realize that host families aren’t penniless folks with a dying child that need compassion to survive right? You realize that 99.9% of host families are composed of professional parents who have made a conscious choice to have children and have, not only the ability and salary to afford them, but also to afford  private childcare and a  
a house with enough rooms to host an extra person and on top of that quite a lot of extras (dedicated car/ after school activities for the kids/summer camps etc...)? Why should anyone have compassion for families who clearly have money? What purpose would compassion serve except for wanting the AP to let herself be exploited.  I don’t need an 18-20 yo who obviously is less well-made off than me to have compassion for me? Why should she?

I think your parents failed you at teaching you what compassion actually is and when to feel it/what purpose it serves. I am sure you don’t feel compassion for multimillion dollars corporations who pay their employees pennies yet you want APs to have compassion for strangers she doesn’t know who are willingly offering her money? You have purposefully avoided to answer the  question about whether you would advice your daughter to take on a minimum wage job when offered triple the salary for the same job and but according to your answer, looks like you would find it perfectly logical and rational to do so. I fear for your kids having a mother who will teach them to undermine their potential and undersell themselves for sake of pretend charity.

It’s nice to teach kids compassion when it’s relevant, it’s better to teach them self-worth and the value of their work, instead of teaching them that  asking for their worth is equivalent to a lack of compassion.

Trump was elected, partly by WOMEN who likely weren’t taught there worth and that they deserve better than being led by an exploited prick who feels entitled to them and defends assault and abuse. So yes, no wonder Trump was elected when women like YOU preach for women to undermine themselves and sell themselves  short to profit the big guys with more money than them.

Continue to teach your kids to be compassionate to a fault (because in the current scenario there is absolutely no reasons that call for compassion) and in 20 years time they will end up struggling to make ends meet and working for pennies under our “selfish twigs” of kids who will have learned to ask for a raise and a promotion as needed.

Be smart, teach your kids compassion but also teach them WHEN to have compassion and when to fight for their worth. You can both be compassionate and smart. Those aren’t mutually exclusive statements and will benefit them much more than your blind “don’t ask for a penny more than what’s offered in case it offends anyone” attitude. People will be out there trying to exploit them, it’s your role as their mom to teach them to stand up for themselves and fight for their worth as well as their rights. Don’t sell your kids (or anybody else’s kids) short from the start, it benefits no one least of all: them.

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