Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses.

No one says you have to host "princesses." Right now, market conditions favor APs right now because most rational 20 y.o. don't want to be cooped up inside with strangers' kids in exchange for the standard stipend. If you aren't willing or able to offer perks beyond that, then your options are to be open to APs that struggle to attract families, wait until conditions change, or leave the program.

I never said anything about paying a little more. But I am not going to go over the top with a mutli thousand dollar signing bonus. The AP needs to want to work with our family, not milk me for all of the perks. The ones who go for the perks first mindset end up in rematch frequently anyway.

Ha! Crazy. Advocate for yourself, of course, but is certainly morally questionable to advocate milking people in the middle of a pandemic and large-scale childcare crisis. There’s a difference between leaning in and encouraging gouging. Yikes. Maybe there’s a women studies 101 you can find online during these troubled times? You clearly need it desperately....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses.

And that's fine. It's called negotiating. If you don't want to hire someone, by all means walk away, some people don't mind paying $$$ for someone who has great qualifications, excellent recommendations and can see the value in (especially in the current climate). I personally don't see a problem in negotiating, I like confidence (especially when it's backed up by experiences and recommendations), I would rather pay more for an AP who already has experience being an AP, have a US driving license, have been sheltering and already know life in quarantine with a family and can come ASAP and great recommendations and who knows her worth and can prove it, than a new AP who might be a dud, might need driving lessons, might hate being an AP etc... sometimes, the knowledge your kids are in good hands is worth all the extra $, especially right now.

Honestly I am curious about the paycheck most of the HMs from this thread's get at the end of the month considering how many people see asking for a raise as '' being a princess'' and ''lacking moral compass''. Do all of you really walk into a job, and just accept the first salary and minimum perks that's offered to you and never ever ask for a raise and just wait to magically be considered for a promotion? No wonder there is a wage gap between male and females if that's the case, especially when I see how women are reacting to a young woman negotiating her pay.

I want my kids to know and learn that it's always okay for them to ask for what they think they are worth, they might get it, they might not but they most definitely won't get it if they don't ask.

As an employer of both an AuPair and 16 direct reports I can tell you that women almost always do this and I have never seen a man do this.

Maybe that poster needs to change her mindset from one of servant to one of value. I feel sorry for thrmnif they are raising girls. Tje continued cycle of not valuing themselves. This is what I find truly gross

And exactly! It’s sickening to see women preaching on other women to undersell themselves.

Women complain about wage gap (and yes it’s worth moaning about) but then gasp at the idea of actually asking for their worth. It’s a massively strange concept. Either you believe women should be paid their fair worth and therefore what’s wrong with negotiating? And if not then what’s wrong with wage gap?

It’s even more disturbing that women have compassion for everyone but themselves, why would you put the interest of someone with a bigger capital than yours above your own personal interest, how does that benefit anyone but the person who didn’t need you to do that sacrifice in the first place? It’s quite sad actually that some people/women willingly sell themselves short and even more so see it as a quality of some sort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses.

And that's fine. It's called negotiating. If you don't want to hire someone, by all means walk away, some people don't mind paying $$$ for someone who has great qualifications, excellent rec

ommendations and can see the value in (especially in the current climate). I personally don't see a problem in negotiating, I like confidence (especially when it's backed up by experiences and recommendations), I would rather pay more for an AP who already has experience being an AP, have a US driving license, have been sheltering and already know life in quarantine with a family and can come ASAP and great recommendations and who knows her worth and can prove it, than a new AP who might be a dud, might need driving lessons, might hate being an AP etc... sometimes, the knowledge your kids are in good hands is worth all the extra $, especially right now.

Honestly I am curious about the paycheck most of the HMs from this thread's get at the end of the month considering how many people see asking for a raise as '' being a princess'' and ''lacking moral compass''. Do all of you really walk into a job, and just accept the first salary and minimum perks that's offered to you and never ever ask for a raise and just wait to magically be considered for a promotion? No wonder there is a wage gap between male and females if that's the case, especially when I see how women are reacting to a young woman negotiating her pay.

I want my kids to know and learn that it's always okay for them to ask for what they think they are worth, they might get it, they might not but they most definitely won't get it if they don't ask.

As an employer of both an AuPair and 16 direct reports I can tell you that women almost always do this and I have never seen a man do this.

Maybe that poster needs to change her mindset from one of servant to one of value. I feel sorry for thrmnif they are raising girls. Tje continued cycle of not valuing themselves. This is what I find truly gross

Your poor parents...mine instilled both feminist values and compassion. Apparently yours missed the social compact piece. But go on, teach your kids to be selfish prigs. No wonder Trump got elected.

Lol, you seem completely unhinged!

What does compassion have to do with anything? And why does your compassion lays with families rather than with the young AP? You realize that host families aren’t penniless folks with a dying child that need compassion to survive right? You realize that 99.9% of host families are composed of professional parents who have made a conscious choice to have children and have, not only the ability and salary to afford them, but also to afford private childcare and a
a house with enough rooms to host an extra person and on top of that quite a lot of extras (dedicated car/ after school activities for the kids/summer camps etc...)? Why should anyone have compassion for families who clearly have money? What purpose would compassion serve except for wanting the AP to let herself be exploited. I don’t need an 18-20 yo who obviously is less well-made off than me to have compassion for me? Why should she?

I think your parents failed you at teaching you what compassion actually is and when to feel it/what purpose it serves. I am sure you don’t feel compassion for multimillion dollars corporations who pay their employees pennies yet you want APs to have compassion for strangers she doesn’t know who are willingly offering her money? You have purposefully avoided to answer the question about whether you would advice your daughter to take on a minimum wage job when offered triple the salary for the same job and but according to your answer, looks like you would find it perfectly logical and rational to do so. I fear for your kids having a mother who will teach them to undermine their potential and undersell themselves for sake of pretend charity.

It’s nice to teach kids compassion when it’s relevant, it’s better to teach them self-worth and the value of their work, instead of teaching them that asking for their worth is equivalent to a lack of compassion.

Trump was elected, partly by WOMEN who likely weren’t taught there worth and that they deserve better than being led by an exploited prick who feels entitled to them and defends assault and abuse. So yes, no wonder Trump was elected when women like YOU preach for women to undermine themselves and sell themselves short to profit the big guys with more money than them.

Continue to teach your kids to be compassionate to a fault (because in the current scenario there is absolutely no reasons that call for compassion) and in 20 years time they will end up struggling to make ends meet and working for pennies under our “selfish twigs” of kids who will have learned to ask for a raise and a promotion as needed.

Be smart, teach your kids compassion but also teach them WHEN to have compassion and when to fight for their worth. You can both be compassionate and smart. Those aren’t mutually exclusive statements and will benefit them much more than your blind “don’t ask for a penny more than what’s offered in case it offends anyone” attitude. People will be out there trying to exploit them, it’s your role as their mom to teach them to stand up for themselves and fight for their worth as well as their rights. Don’t sell your kids (or anybody else’s kids) short from the start, it benefits no one least of all: them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses.

And that's fine. It's called negotiating. If you don't want to hire someone, by all means walk away, some people don't mind paying $$$ for someone who has great qualifications, excellent rec

ommendations and can see the value in (especially in the current climate). I personally don't see a problem in negotiating, I like confidence (especially when it's backed up by experiences and recommendations), I would rather pay more for an AP who already has experience being an AP, have a US driving license, have been sheltering and already know life in quarantine with a family and can come ASAP and great recommendations and who knows her worth and can prove it, than a new AP who might be a dud, might need driving lessons, might hate being an AP etc... sometimes, the knowledge your kids are in good hands is worth all the extra $, especially right now.

Honestly I am curious about the paycheck most of the HMs from this thread's get at the end of the month considering how many people see asking for a raise as '' being a princess'' and ''lacking moral compass''. Do all of you really walk into a job, and just accept the first salary and minimum perks that's offered to you and never ever ask for a raise and just wait to magically be considered for a promotion? No wonder there is a wage gap between male and females if that's the case, especially when I see how women are reacting to a young woman negotiating her pay.

I want my kids to know and learn that it's always okay for them to ask for what they think they are worth, they might get it, they might not but they most definitely won't get it if they don't ask.

As an employer of both an AuPair and 16 direct reports I can tell you that women almost always do this and I have never seen a man do this.

Maybe that poster needs to change her mindset from one of servant to one of value. I feel sorry for thrmnif they are raising girls. Tje continued cycle of not valuing themselves. This is what I find truly gross

Your poor parents...mine instilled both feminist values and compassion. Apparently yours missed the social compact piece. But go on, teach your kids to be selfish prigs. No wonder Trump got elected.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses.

And that's fine. It's called negotiating. If you don't want to hire someone, by all means walk away, some people don't mind paying $$$ for someone who has great qualifications, excellent recommendations and can see the value in (especially in the current climate). I personally don't see a problem in negotiating, I like confidence (especially when it's backed up by experiences and recommendations), I would rather pay more for an AP who already has experience being an AP, have a US driving license, have been sheltering and already know life in quarantine with a family and can come ASAP and great recommendations and who knows her worth and can prove it, than a new AP who might be a dud, might need driving lessons, might hate being an AP etc... sometimes, the knowledge your kids are in good hands is worth all the extra $, especially right now.

Honestly I am curious about the paycheck most of the HMs from this thread's get at the end of the month considering how many people see asking for a raise as '' being a princess'' and ''lacking moral compass''. Do all of you really walk into a job, and just accept the first salary and minimum perks that's offered to you and never ever ask for a raise and just wait to magically be considered for a promotion? No wonder there is a wage gap between male and females if that's the case, especially when I see how women are reacting to a young woman negotiating her pay.

I want my kids to know and learn that it's always okay for them to ask for what they think they are worth, they might get it, they might not but they most definitely won't get it if they don't ask.

As an employer of both an AuPair and 16 direct reports I can tell you that women almost always do this and I have never seen a man do this.

Maybe that poster needs to change her mindset from one of servant to one of value. I feel sorry for thrmnif they are raising girls. Tje continued cycle of not valuing themselves. This is what I find truly gross

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

Gross. You are horrible.

I am not the pp but horrible why? If you get a new job wouldn’t you negotiate the highest pay you can have with the biggest perks? There is nothing horrible about negotiating a high pay and extra perks. Too few women fight for higher pay brackets so good on that AP and excellent advice from the PP. Families who can’t and won’t pay won’t hire her or will find alternative childcare.

Totes, screw all these idiot parents who dared to reproduce. Screw the pandemic! Milk those effers! A moral compass is for the weak...

An AuPair is not charity because you cannot afford your crotch goblins.

This is how the free market works. I'm happy to help guide her towards maximizing her earning potential.

FWIW, our AuPair just signed with the florida family 3k signing bonus, 10/hr for every hour worked and in a state no longer in lockdown. I'm happy for her. She deserves it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses.

And that's fine. It's called negotiating. If you don't want to hire someone, by all means walk away, some people don't mind paying $$$ for someone who has great qualifications, excellent recommendations and can see the value in (especially in the current climate). I personally don't see a problem in negotiating, I like confidence (especially when it's backed up by experiences and recommendations), I would rather pay more for an AP who already has experience being an AP, have a US driving license, have been sheltering and already know life in quarantine with a family and can come ASAP and great recommendations and who knows her worth and can prove it, than a new AP who might be a dud, might need driving lessons, might hate being an AP etc... sometimes, the knowledge your kids are in good hands is worth all the extra $, especially right now.

Honestly I am curious about the paycheck most of the HMs from this thread's get at the end of the month considering how many people see asking for a raise as '' being a princess'' and ''lacking moral compass''. Do all of you really walk into a job, and just accept the first salary and minimum perks that's offered to you and never ever ask for a raise and just wait to magically be considered for a promotion? No wonder there is a wage gap between male and females if that's the case, especially when I see how women are reacting to a young woman negotiating her pay.

I want my kids to know and learn that it's always okay for them to ask for what they think they are worth, they might get it, they might not but they most definitely won't get it if they don't ask.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

Gross. You are horrible.

I am not the pp but horrible why? If you get a new job wouldn’t you negotiate the highest pay you can have with the biggest perks? There is nothing horrible about negotiating a high pay and extra perks. Too few women fight for higher pay brackets so good on that AP and excellent advice from the PP. Families who can’t and won’t pay won’t hire her or will find alternative childcare.

Totes, screw all these idiot parents who dared to reproduce. Screw the pandemic! Milk those effers! A moral compass is for the weak...

You realize that APs aren't a charity and that APs aren't the only childcare option, right? Nobody is forcing families to offer more money than the $195.75 required by the Department of State and if they chose to start to offer $2000 a month to get an AP, it means they are both willing and financially capable of doing so. An AP who is offered $$$$ to do a job she would normally be paid much lower to do would be crazy to refuse.

You are purposefully being dramatic in your writing which makes you come across as quite a nightmare hf honestly, but even then. Nobody is saying parents are idiots who dared to reproduce. BUT yes, ultimately parents ARE responsible for their kids, and if they can't find APs they like or can currently afford, it's up to them to find alternatives or accept the fact that they might make arrangements with their work so they can look after them themselves.

When you sign up to be a parent you accept that you might sometimes struggle to find alternative childcare and might have to look after your own kids.

Again if someone offered me $$$$$ to do the same job I do with extra perks on top of that, I would go for it, no questions asked. Nothing to do with a moral compass. The AP finished her year with her current host family, she has a brilliant recommendation from her HF, she isn't leaving anyone in the lursh and she obviously is quite wanted. Nobody in their right mind would advice her to not take the best package she can find that suits her, she is in a position to negotiate and I very much hope she does. Would you tell your daughter to take a job that pays minimum wage when another company that suits just as well offer triple the pay and advantages? Or do you only have that ''moral compass'' when it comes to APs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses.

No one says you have to host "princesses." Right now, market conditions favor APs right now because most rational 20 y.o. don't want to be cooped up inside with strangers' kids in exchange for the standard stipend. If you aren't willing or able to offer perks beyond that, then your options are to be open to APs that struggle to attract families, wait until conditions change, or leave the program.

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

If a candidate decided to "milk me for all I'm worth" then I would see red flags and walk away. We are reasonable, we follow the rules. We have a bedroom and bathroom on a separate floor. But we don't host princesses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

Gross. You are horrible.

I am not the pp but horrible why? If you get a new job wouldn’t you negotiate the highest pay you can have with the biggest perks? There is nothing horrible about negotiating a high pay and extra perks. Too few women fight for higher pay brackets so good on that AP and excellent advice from the PP. Families who can’t and won’t pay won’t hire her or will find alternative childcare.

Totes, screw all these idiot parents who dared to reproduce. Screw the pandemic! Milk those effers! A moral compass is for the weak...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

Gross. You are horrible.

I am not the pp but horrible why? If you get a new job wouldn’t you negotiate the highest pay you can have with the biggest perks? There is nothing horrible about negotiating a high pay and extra perks. Too few women fight for higher pay brackets so good on that AP and excellent advice from the PP. Families who can’t and won’t pay won’t hire her or will find alternative childcare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

Gross. You are horrible.

Also wrong. There is for sure a lot of competition but as someone in the thick of it I can report it's not THIS bad.

Anonymous wrote:Ours is leaving July 30th and we are exiting the program. She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

I advise her to milk them for as much as she can. There are so many families looking. We are giving her the glowing reference she deserves.

Gross. You are horrible.