Reply to What time does your AP start work in the morning?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you leave the house at 7am? If so then she should not be giving you attitude.  If you are asking her to be upstairs while you are lounging around or doing stuff with the kids yourself she may resent what she sees as an unnecessary early start time.  If this is the case you may need to spell out exactly what you want her to do or your expectations for the morning routine.[/quote]

This is so odd to me - that an AP should resent it when parents are around the morning but wants them scheduled to do work. Maybe the parents need to tend a household task (let the dog out, empty the dishwasher, etc.) Maybe the parent is not a morning person but wants 20 minutes to have a coffee and get ready for their day. These are valid choices. [/quote]

As a parent I totally agree with you, but having been an au pair and then a Nanny, I am saying this is what causes resentment. They are your kids and you want us to look after them to you can sit and have coffee. Its hard to see it from the other side until youve been on both sides.[/quote]

I guess it's like when American professionals expect APs, e.g., from Europe to have American work ethics. We get resentful when APs do the bare minimum because we are expecting them to have "a nose to the grindstone" ethic, and to take their responsibilities as adult women (e.g., cleaning up after one's self) and caretakers seriously, and they are used to living with their parents who did everything for them and calling out sick with a minor cold...they are our kids - and the reason we have APs is so that we have an extra pair of hands in the morning - so that we can have a coffee at home and enter stressful Washington traffic less frazzled. [/quote]

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