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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]The MBs who are the most seemingly open and effusive are the biggest phonys.  Beware of the employers who pretend to be so loving and caring - they are lying.  Because you and the parents share a love for their child,  the parents can manipulate you into turning down better jobs or complaining about late returns and added nanny-tasks.  And they will fire you in an instant.

It is a job.  Love the child and do right by your charge - but [b]never believe that your employers love or even care about you.

Lessons learned the hard way[/b].[/quote]

But it's not the parents' fault that you thought they loved you.  You are one part of the employee/employer dynamic. That means you have SOME control over it.  You could have set the tone for a professional relationship.  [/quote]

True.  I should have had much stronger boundaries.  I am absolutely at fault for believing my employer when they said how much they loved me and how I would always be a part of their lives.  And in loving my charge so much.  I was sincere - my employers were not.  Believe me, lesson learned. [/quote]

Yeah, you fell for the equivalent of a verbal tip.  At restaurants the guests who are most effusive in praising the waitstaff always tip the least.  I never tell our nanny I love them, except once by accident (I was sleep-deprived - we laughed it off).  I invite the nanny to the kids birthday parties and stress they absolutely shouldn't feel obligated to attend, and when they do DH and I both quietly stress they are off the clock and not to work.  But we ARE employers and we WILL eventually let our nanny go when services are no longer needed.  And I don't think we'll feel guilty at all about it. Because it's a job. [/quote]

I think most nannies would be fine with your approach.  You don’t seem to be one of the employers discussed here who tell their nannies they are part of the family, will be with them forever, love them, etc.  I think that is what the PPs and OP were referring to.  Basically the nanny being manipulated to do more because they are “family”.

And regardless, leaving the children is always hard.  Most nannies do love their charges. [/quote]

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