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[quote=Anonymous]To old nanny: “We love you and want you in our lives, but it seems that we have a big difference of opinion about what that looks like now that we are in a new home.  You seem to want to talk to the kids every day, but that is making it hard for us logistically and more importantly it is making it really hard for the kids emotionally to adjust and embrace their new life and new nanny.  I know how much you love them and miss them but I also know that you want what’s best for them.  We will call you every Saturday and see you in a few months.”

To new nanny: “How do you think this transition is going?  What do you need from me to help and support you?”

To kids: “It’s okay to miss old nanny.  In life we will often have to leave people we love a lot.  Today you will go 
with New Nanny to Really Fun Activity.  I hope you have a nice time!”

Also make sure that you are managing transitions well in the mornings.  Have a planned routine (e.g., “See you later, Alligator” and two kisses) for when you actually leave.  Don’t talk about or prep them for you leaving until you are ready to walk out the door, then do your routine and LEAVE, even if they are sad.  If they have had the same nanny since birth, you may have never really had to deal withseparation anxiety because you were leaving them with someone who felt like a third parent.  So I wonder if some of what you are viewing as a huge issue is just the normal preschooler response from being left with a caregiver.  If they cry every day when you leave, that is fine.  It is only a problem if they cry all day and can’t move on.  If they are being reminded mid-day of old nanny, then crying again, that is a second transition each day.[/quote]

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