Reply to Disclose travel plans before matching?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the former AP that was left alone after 3 weeks.

I don't think they realized I would upset by their vacation without me. Maybe they thought I'd be happy "at home" by myself. I had the car and a cheque for some groceries. Which was a lovely gesture I didn't abuse.

What would be fair, I think, is to tell the AP that some vacation are taken with and without her so that everybody can enjoy their time off. It's always better when everything is said upfront.[/quote]

How long ago was this? Have you been able to gain some perspective on how far in advance a family has to plan this sort of trip, how long (before you were in the picture) they imagined doing this as a family unit? How incredibly expensive it would have been to add you on? And how most people who go abroad for a year WANT free time to get out and see things? Sure it was somehow unexpected and hurtful at the time, but can you own your contribution to that interpretation? [/quote]

It was over 20 years ago :)

I was disapointed back then because I wanted to be treated like family and seeing I was left out hurt me.
They weren't living in a fancy city like NYC or DC. The only place I knew where to drive to was a mall ...
So this is where I went a few times during that extra week off.
I could have planned something had I known in advance but when you arrive in the US, you can get overwhelmed by everything and organizing a simple trip by yourself can be tough.

I can see things differently now and I totally get they needed time to themselves.
They could have told me beforehand, that's it. I would have picked another family :)[/quote]

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