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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, we're back to the fact that your husband needs to deal with his mother.[/quote]

This is the problem. As you can see on my original post:

1. MIL wants something. 
2. We decline. 
3. MIL throws a fit. 
4. She doesn't speak to us for weeks/months. 
5. FIL calls DH and say, "Somehow, you gotta call your mother." 
6. DH calls. 
7. They start talking again. 
8. Lather. Rinse.Repeat.

So far, DH has not made it clear to his mother. Every time he has to do this, he contemplates about it for days. He's only really ever put his foot down once. The rest of the time, he does nothing, waits for things to blow over, then 5 happens.

We are still on Number 4. I anticipate 5 happening somehow soon.

[/quote]

But you're leaving out the part where DH deals with his mother when she is there. And facetimes with her. And sends her pictures. You stop. You tell YOUR DH "no." Then he can take off work to cover when she can't handle the baby, or you don't even contemplate not having the nanny come over. And he can handle every whine and complaint. Call him at work. Take off yourself and work somewhere else. Take the baby and go somewhere. Whatever. If she can't accommodate you at all, then you stop, too. She's his mommy. He can handle her. He can schedule FT, or field every single teary phone call. YOU STOP PICKING UP THE PHONE. When DH says, "I'm not there! Can't you just ..." You say "NO." You have this fight, and make him step up. It's not annoying enough for him.

And if he wants to do all this, and it doesn't bother him that much, then hooray! Everyone is happy. [/quote]

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