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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Find a regular scheduled way to keep the nanny in his life.  [b]It is important that the shift be gradual and she doesn't "abandon" him completely[/b].

Stay on fantastic terms with this nanny because staying at home is really, really hard and lonely.  Your relationship with your husband will change (for the better or worse - but it will change) and you may feel less-than in th eyes of your work friends.  You might want to go back to work.  [/quote]

None of what you said makes any sense.  A one year old will easily forget a beloved caregiver, sad, but true.  And especially in this case where the one year old will be going from nanny to mom, it truly is a non-issue.  As to staying on fantastic terms with the nanny, sure, but not for the reasons you mentioned.  You think the nanny is going to wait in the wings, unemployed, to see if mom changes her mind and goes back to work?  You sound like an idiot.[/quote]

Yes, the nanny will easily be forgotten but the loss and abandonment will imprint his psyche.  There have been studies on this, PP.  Please look them up.  The fact that he will not remember specifics about anything is irrelevant.  A bond is an bond.  I am a child psychologist as well as a mother of three.

And please stop embarrassing yourself with comments like "You sound like an idiot".  [/quote]

I would like to know what exactly these studies looked at, please send links.  I don't doubt that an infant can feel abandonment, but I'm guessing these studies didn't involve a mother returning home to her child while the nanny gradually transitions out.  The PP implied (see bolded text) that the infant will experience some irreversible trauma if the nanny is no longer in the picture, which I strongly do not believe would happen if the MB takes pains to make the transition gentle.  As if this MB does not have enough to worry about, the PP is just adding to the guilt and worry load with unwarranted claims.  Hence why I called BS.[/quote]

NP here and google is your friend.  Just look it up, PP.  I remember reading studies in college about abandonment issues in newborns.  It has nothing to do with conscious memory - it is about experiencing a sudden loss.  The baby has no way to process why nanny/grandma/daddy isn't with them anymore.

I am an MB and I do honor the love my daughter has for her nanny.  It isn't in competition with my love for her or her love for me.  I am sorry you can't see that, PO.

As for OP, I hope it works out for you.  I also recommend doing the transition slowly with you baby and the nanny and then keeping the nanny in her life in some capacity.  [/quote]

I did google and could not find any studies that conclude that an infant will be irreversibly traumatized by the gentle exit of a caregiver while still in the care of a caregiver who has been with him/her since birth.  What studies I have heard about are infants abandoned by their parents and had ZERO stable caregiver, which is obviously different.  So instead of flippantly suggesting use google, how about some links?  Guessing there aren't any.  :roll:

You can find studies to support ANY claim.  The PP is a nutcase and I wouldn't take her warning seriously.  
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