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[quote=doodlebug][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again - I haven't actually called the family member because I don't want to waste anyone's time if we're not hiring her.  I assume a close family member will give a good reference so I don't really think there's any useful info to be gained there since it's also different working for a stranger with kids you're not related to.  I didn't specifically say it was contingent on the references but I did say we were going to check them and asked her to send me some after the offer.    [/quote]

I'm really sorry but after my husband and I talked it over we've decided to rescind your offer. We're just REALLY not comfortable with the lack of work reference coupled with it not being a great personality fit. One or the other we might be able to overlook, but not both. I'm sorry again and good luck.[/quote] for the love of all that's holy, leave her personality out of it. DO NOT say that. The fact you don't like her personality is YOUR problem and you have no right to burden her with your weird issues. Seriously, don't say ANYTHING about personality fit. No good will come from it and you'll look like (and actually be) an ass.[/quote]

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