Anonymous
09/01/2016 06:19
Subject: How to rescind an offer?
I know the nanny has already been informed, but I definitely think some details were left out. Regardless of what reservations you may had, YOU offered the position before even checking her references so you felt pretty confident about her then.. It's a 10 hr wk/ job, you have to start somewhere even if she had only taken care of family members in the past. As another poster said, sound like you found someone cheaper and wanted to just back out which is fine. Just understand whether it is 10 hours a week or 40, nannies use all income for living, not extra money.
doodlebug
08/30/2016 10:29
Subject: How to rescind an offer?
It's an unbelievably rude thing to say. It's essentially saying I just don't like you or you're weird but in a very condescending way. It's not at all constructive. It just leaves her wondering and wondering what she did or said or whether she's really that weird or whether she'll ever get a job since apparently someone things she's weird but won't tell her why. Give constructive feedback (not enough references, not the experience we're looking for, we need someone with a car etc.) Just don't blame it on you not liking her personality. That's just mean.Anonymous wrote:doodlebug wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP again - I haven't actually called the family member because I don't want to waste anyone's time if we're not hiring her. I assume a close family member will give a good reference so I don't really think there's any useful info to be gained there since it's also different working for a stranger with kids you're not related to. I didn't specifically say it was contingent on the references but I did say we were going to check them and asked her to send me some after the offer.
I'm really sorry but after my husband and I talked it over we've decided to rescind your offer. We're just REALLY not comfortable with the lack of work reference coupled with it not being a great personality fit. One or the other we might be able to overlook, but not both. I'm sorry again and good luck.
for the love of all that's holy, leave her personality out of it. DO NOT say that. The fact you don't like her personality is YOUR problem and you have no right to burden her with your weird issues. Seriously, don't say ANYTHING about personality fit. No good will come from it and you'll look like (and actually be) an ass.
Do YOU have personality issues that you're sensitive about? Because I didn't tell OP to say the nanny doesn't have a good personality. Just that their personalities are not a good fit. There's no right or wrong there.
Anonymous
08/30/2016 03:00
Subject: How to rescind an offer?
Anonymous wrote:It was just yesterday that I offered her the job. I'm obviously going to tell her today. Just need some ideas on what to say. Should I say it's because of the references? On one hand I think it might be helpful for her to know that not having any references might be an issue for others as well. On the other I'm tempted to just apologize and say a more general "our plans/needs have changed" but that seems kind of weird given that it's 24 hours later so really what could have changed that fast? Help me DCUM. I'm clearly not thinking straight this weekend!
If you really want to help her, tell her the truth. She might get a reference from just a few babysitting gigs and it will help her have a non-family reference. I would have the same concern if she could only provide family reference.
Anonymous
08/29/2016 13:12
Subject: How to rescind an offer?
doodlebug wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP again - I haven't actually called the family member because I don't want to waste anyone's time if we're not hiring her. I assume a close family member will give a good reference so I don't really think there's any useful info to be gained there since it's also different working for a stranger with kids you're not related to. I didn't specifically say it was contingent on the references but I did say we were going to check them and asked her to send me some after the offer.
I'm really sorry but after my husband and I talked it over we've decided to rescind your offer. We're just REALLY not comfortable with the lack of work reference coupled with it not being a great personality fit. One or the other we might be able to overlook, but not both. I'm sorry again and good luck.
for the love of all that's holy, leave her personality out of it. DO NOT say that. The fact you don't like her personality is YOUR problem and you have no right to burden her with your weird issues. Seriously, don't say ANYTHING about personality fit. No good will come from it and you'll look like (and actually be) an ass.
Do YOU have personality issues that you're sensitive about? Because I didn't tell OP to say the nanny doesn't have a good personality. Just that their personalities are not a good fit. There's no right or wrong there.
Anonymous
08/29/2016 10:01
Subject: How to rescind an offer?
Op here – thanks all. I let her know yesterday that DH wasn't comfortable hiring someone who wasn't able to provide references and I apologized if I wasn't clear about it in our initial meeting. I also offered to put her info out on our local listserv to help her try to connect with another family. Thanks for all the responses!
doodlebug
08/29/2016 02:50
Subject: How to rescind an offer?
for the love of all that's holy, leave her personality out of it. DO NOT say that. The fact you don't like her personality is YOUR problem and you have no right to burden her with your weird issues. Seriously, don't say ANYTHING about personality fit. No good will come from it and you'll look like (and actually be) an ass.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP again - I haven't actually called the family member because I don't want to waste anyone's time if we're not hiring her. I assume a close family member will give a good reference so I don't really think there's any useful info to be gained there since it's also different working for a stranger with kids you're not related to. I didn't specifically say it was contingent on the references but I did say we were going to check them and asked her to send me some after the offer.
I'm really sorry but after my husband and I talked it over we've decided to rescind your offer. We're just REALLY not comfortable with the lack of work reference coupled with it not being a great personality fit. One or the other we might be able to overlook, but not both. I'm sorry again and good luck.
Anonymous
08/28/2016 21:18
Subject: How to rescind an offer?
Anonymous wrote:OP again - I haven't actually called the family member because I don't want to waste anyone's time if we're not hiring her. I assume a close family member will give a good reference so I don't really think there's any useful info to be gained there since it's also different working for a stranger with kids you're not related to. I didn't specifically say it was contingent on the references but I did say we were going to check them and asked her to send me some after the offer.
I'm really sorry but after my husband and I talked it over we've decided to rescind your offer. We're just REALLY not comfortable with the lack of work reference coupled with it not being a great personality fit. One or the other we might be able to overlook, but not both. I'm sorry again and good luck.